If You Don't Want an Apple, Are You Truly Hungry?

Have you ever heard of the “Apple Test?”

The basic idea is that if you’re truly physically hungry, you’ll happily eat an apple (or other produce—you know, something “healthy”). 

If you don’t want an apple, you’re probably not actually hungry. 

While I believe its intent is to help you decipher physical hunger from emotional hunger, the messaging behind this diet culture nonsense basically says that:

1/ you can’t trust your hunger or your desires, and

2/ if you want to eat something other than an apple, banana or carrot sticks, you’re engaging in bad behavior and ultimately a bad person.

Mistrust, Question and Judge
Diet culture messes up your relationship with food in many ways, including teaching you to mistrust, question and judge your hunger.

It sounds something like this…

• I just ate breakfast an hour ago but I’m hungry again. I shouldn’t eat so soon after a meal.

• I’m famished! I could have my lunch now but it’s not the right time to eat.

• I feel hungry but I’m probably just thirsty. I’ll have a glass of water.

• I can’t believe I’m hungry already! My appetite is out of control.

• My stomach is growling but I have to wait # hours between meals.

• I’m feeling a bit hungry, but it’s bad to snack. 

• I’m hungry but I shouldn’t eat so close to dinner. 

• What’s wrong with me? Why am I always so hungry?

• I feel hungry but I’m likely just bored.

• If I’m not hungry enough to eat an apple, I’m not truly hungry.

If any of these scenarios sound familiar, you’re not alone.

When my clients and I explore their relationship with hunger, they are often surprised to discover how much diet culture influences how they respond to their body’s hunger signals.

We Know Better Than You
Diet culture tells you that you and your body can’t be trusted, that it knows better than you do when you’re hungry, when it’s okay to eat, what’s okay to eat, and how much is okay to eat.

It makes you believe that you should only eat when you’re really hungry and if you are, you should only eat certain foods. Eating at any other time, for any other reason, is bad, excessive, and a lack of discipline and willpower.

Diet culture says that to be a “good eater,” you must adhere to its external rules instead of listening to your internal cues. 

Eating Isn’t Easy
As you may know very well, when diet culture is in charge, eating feels complicated, stressful and guilt-ridden.

You may find yourself debating every eating decision, white knuckling it until it’s the “right” time to eat, or feeling guilty when you eat at the “wrong” time or for the "wrong" reasons.

You may frequently delay eating until you’re ravenous and then, understandably, need as much food as possible as fast as possible, which usually isn’t a very satisfying experience.

Your Hunger is Valid
A big part of Intuitive Eating is rebuilding trust in yourself and your innate body wisdom. 

This includes, to the best of your ability, learning how to become more attuned to your body’s various hunger signals and honoring its nourishment needs in a timely manner—without any judgment, hesitation or second-guessing. 

Of course, in addition to diet culture, there are other factors that can interfere with your ability to hear and honor your hunger cues, such as stress, sleep deprivation, certain health conditions, medications, neurodivergence, schedule constraints, food insecurity and more.

But let’s start with the pervasive role diet culture plays and with getting clear on one very important thing: your hunger and desires are real and valid even if you don’t want to eat an apple.

My Resolution Went Awry

A few decades ago, I started the new year resolving to lose weight once and for all. 

After years of attempting to reach my ideal size, I was more determined than ever to drop some pounds and keep them off for good. 

My initial strategy was to ramp up my exercise and make different food choices, like eating more vegetables and fewer sweets. Seemed reasonable enough.

After losing a few pounds, people started complimenting me on my smaller size (“You look so good!”) and my eating decisions (“You’re so good!”). Their praise felt really good—and it motivated me to pull the reins in tighter. 

Downward Spiral
What seemed like a healthy resolution quickly spiraled into a disordered relationship with food and exercise. 

My list of food and exercise rules grew. I cut out more and more foods and ran more and more miles. 

I meticulously counted calories in and out (on paper and spreadsheets—apps weren't a thing back then).

Soon, my entire life was consumed by my desire to control my weight. I thought about food and my body constantly.

I neglected my relationships, my job, my social life—basically anything that threatened my desire for control. 

I stopped going to lunch with coworkers because I didn’t want to eat off plan. 

I would no longer go out on Saturday nights as I feared drinking “empty calories,” plus I had to get up early to work out. 

If I did go to a party, I was never fully present as I was preoccupied with all the forbidden foods I wanted to eat but wouldn’t let myself have.

I was chronically late to work because I just had to run one more mile before going into the office.

I underate during the day then overate at night. I freaked out if I ate “badly” and compensated by eating less and exercising more. 

And, naturally, since I was food policing myself, I often food policed other people’s food choices (“Do you know how many grams of sugar are in that?!”). 

I constantly checked my body and kept moving the goalposts. I’d reach my target weight and then aim for a lower number. It was never enough. 

What I was trying to control ended up controlling me. 

Disordered Eating Gateway
Although I’ve shared parts of my story before, I wanted to bring it up again as it’s so very tempting and understandable to go on a diet in the new year, especially since we’re bombarded with seductive success-story ads and everyone around us seems to be dieting.

While I've been anti-diet for some years now due to everything I've learned both personally and professionally, I completely believe in body autonomy including the right to diet. 

I also feel it's important to know what weight-loss companies and advocates will never tell you, namely the numerous ways dieting can harm you physically and physiologically. 

And they will certainly never warn you that for many people, dieting is a gateway to disordered eating, and for some, to actual eating disorders.

When you reflect on your dieting history, in what ways has dieting harmed you?

What Food Peace Looks Like

I talk a lot about making peace with food.

While you may have a sense of what I’m referring to, I thought it would be helpful to give some examples of what it actually looks like. 

You know you’ve made peace with food when…

• You stop judging your day and yourself as good or bad based on what you ate.

• You no longer feel anxious, bad or guilty about your food choices and eating behaviors.

• You don’t feel preoccupied with food and obsess over every morsel you put in your mouth.

• You stop adhering to food rules and letting diet culture dictate your eating.

• You eat whatever sounds satisfying, tastes satisfying and feels satisfying in your body.

• You no longer think you have to make up for your eating by exercising more, eating less at your next meal, or going on a cleanse or diet.

• You trust yourself to keep previously off-limits foods in your house because you’re no longer afraid you’ll lose control with them.

• You no longer feel your eating requires self-control and willpower.

• You're excited to attend social events again because you’re no longer worried you’ll blow your diet.

• You order what you truly want at restaurants rather than basing your decision on what you think you should eat or what your companions are eating.

• You stop believing you have to earn the right to eat something by exercising, skipping meals or being “good” all day.

• You no longer eat in secret because you aren’t ashamed anymore of your desires. 

• You have much more time, energy and headspace for more fulfilling, meaningful and fun things.

• You just eat and move on.

I could list more examples, but I think you get the idea. 

I encourage you to reflect on what food peace would look like for you. How would it change your life?

It's Worth It, Your Worth It
Of course, making peace with food doesn’t happen overnight. 

For most of us, the road to food peace is long, winding and rocky. 

However, no matter how bumpy, scary and challenging your journey may be, the freedom, ease and peace you’ll discover along the way are so very worth it. You're worth it.