A Winter Coat Didn't Spoil Halloween. Diet Culture Did.

When I was eight, I dressed up as a fairy princess for Halloween. I’ll never forget what a bummer it was to have to wear my winter coat over my sparkly costume because it was too cold to go trick-or-treating without one. 

I got over my disappointment pretty quickly once I realized my concealed costume didn’t prevent me from collecting candy from all the houses in my neighborhood.

When I got home, I immediately tore off my tiara (made from a Burger King crown) and dumped my bag of goodies on the family room floor. 

Like past Halloweens, I spread everything out on our brown shag carpet so I could assess my glorious haul. I then got busy creating different piles, categorizing the treats by type and preference.

Once my inventory was done, my three siblings and I traded for our favorites. I happily swapped peanut butter kisses and popcorn balls for candy bars, bubble gum and jawbreakers. 

Spoiled by Diet Culture
Thankfully, my childhood Halloweens weren’t spoiled by diet culture. 

No one made me trade my candy for a toy, set rules on how many pieces I was allowed to eat each day, or tossed some of my stash while I was sleeping.

Unfortunately, as I got older, diet culture did eventually invade my Halloween and every other holiday. Worried about my weight, I welcomed all the tips and tricks regarding how to be “good” and “stay on plan.”

If you’re unsure what diet culture is, here are some examples I've encountered during the Halloween season:

• Don’t buy candy for trick-or-treaters until the day of Halloween to limit the amount of time it’s in your house. 
   

• To avoid temptation, buy candy you don’t like. Better yet, buy stickers to hand out instead.
   

• To prevent yourself from overindulging, avoid hanging out by the food table or candy bowl at celebrations. 
   

• When you take your kids trick-or-treating, get in some extra steps and burn off some candy calories by walking from house to house instead of driving.
   

• If you’re craving something sweet, reach for the fruit bowl instead of the candy bowl. 
   

• At parties, participate in activities that make holding a plate of food challenging or wear a mask that makes eating difficult.
   

• Get back on track the day after Halloween by cutting carbs and working out longer.
    

• To make up for all your Halloween “sins,” plan to start a 7-day detox the day after. 

Unnecessary Suffering
Although likely intended to be helpful, diet culture messages like these can trigger a lot of fear, guilt, shame, anxiety and stress.

They made me so afraid of blowing my diet and eating “badly,” that I often chose to play it safe by opting out altogether.

The amount of harm and unnecessary suffering diet culture causes is vast, from food fears, body mistrust and weight stigma to disordered eating and exercise.

More than anything, diet culture keeps you from focusing on more meaningful, fulfilling and fun things.

Needing to wear a winter coat over your Halloween costume is definitely a bummer. A bigger bummer, however, is having your holiday spoiled by diet culture. 

Do You Trust Your Body? The Diet Industry Doesn't Want You To.

Do you trust your body?

There are various reasons why you may not trust your body. Dieting could be one of them. It certainly was for me.

When you follow a diet (this includes any plan with food rules and restrictions, regardless of what it’s called or how it’s spun), you’re handing over the reins and letting someone else dictate what and how you eat.

This is exactly what the multi-billion diet industry wants.

The people behind all the diet programs rely on your reliance on them so they work really hard to convince you that you and your body can’t be trusted, that you need them because they know better than you what your body needs.

They teach you to prioritize their external rules over your inner cues.

They cause you to disconnect from your body and deny its needs and desires.

They destroy the trust you once had in your body before you learned it was a problem to be solved. 

The thing is—no one knows your body better than you do. 

No one knows better than you when you’re hungry, how much food you need, what kind of food you need, what foods satisfy you, and how different foods feel in your body.

Give Your Power and Freedom Away
The desire to diet is completely understandable given our weight-obsessed culture with its unrealistic body standards and tendency to equate thinness with health and moral virtue.

Given our confusing, constantly changing "eat this, don't eat that" food environment, it's also completely understandable to want someone else to just tell you what to eat. 

In a way, outsourcing your eating decisions might feel freeing, especially at first. Doing so may feel like a relief, especially if you frequently agonize over what to eat.

It's important to understand, however, that although well-intentioned, when you hand your food decisions over to an external source, you’re essentially giving away your power and freedom.

As a result, you may eventually find yourself rebelling against the diet and its unsustainable requirements that disregard your body's wants and needs. 

When this happens, it's typical to view it as self-sabotage, a lack of willpower and self-discipline, and further proof that you and your body can't be trusted when it comes to food.

Nothing could be further from the truth. 

By rebelling, you’re simply trying to regain a sense of autonomy and freedom—two of the many things dieting takes away from you.

You Are the Expert
You are the expert of your own body.

Intuitive Eating helps you tap into this expertise and reconnect with your body.

It helps you rebuild the body trust you came into this world with.

It teaches you how to listen to and honor your body wisdom and how to use this innate knowledge to discern what way of eating works best for you. 

Ultimately, it empowers you to take back your power and freedom—and to fully trust yourself and your body.

We're Taught to Hate Our Bodies. Unlearning Body Shame.

How would you describe your relationship with your body?

When I'm working with a client, we explore the various factors that have negatively impacted their relationship with their body since they were young, like my obsession with this movie.

What comes up for you when you reflect on the forces that have shaped your relationship with your body? What harmful messages or narratives have you internalized?

Like my clients, I invite you to consider that you didn’t come into this world hating your body but rather were taught to have an adversarial relationship with it. 

A Crappy Inheritance
In her book The Body Is Not An Apology, Sonya Renee Taylor elaborates on our indoctrinated body shame:

“We did not start life in a negative partnership with our bodies. I have never seen a toddler lament the size of their thighs, the squishiness of their bellies. Children do not arrive here ashamed of their race, gender, age, or disabilities. 

Babies love their bodies! Each discovery they encounter is freaking awesome. Have you ever seen an infant realize they have feet? Talk about wonder! That is what an unobstructed relationship with our bodies looks like. 

You were an infant once, which means there was a time when you thought your body was freaking awesome too. 

Connecting to that memory may feel as distant as the furthest star. It may not be a memory you can access at all, but just knowing that there was a point in your history when you once loved your body can be a reminder that body shame is a fantastically crappy inheritance. We didn’t give it to ourselves, and we are not obligated to keep it.”

Transformation is Possible
What’s it like to consider that you once viewed your body with delight and wonder—and that it’s not your fault if you no longer do? 

We live in a world that teaches us to see our bodies as flawed. This makes it really tough to have a positive relationship with your body, however, you don’t have to settle for a crappy one. 

If you desire to have a better relationship with your body, perhaps one that feels peaceful, loving, tender, compassionate, respectful, celebratory, liberatory or just neutral, I encourage you to trust that it is possible.

So, where to start? Some first steps could include reading material like The Body Is Not An Apology, Reclaiming Body Trust, More Than A Body and Burnt Toast.

I also recommend joining safe like-minded communities, like the one Burnt Toast offers, and being more intentional with the messaging you consume, including moving away from body-shaming content on social media, TV, podcasts, etc.

If you’re like me and many of my clients, you’ll find that transforming your relationship with your body is an ongoing process, one that includes a lot of ups and downs and learning and unlearning. 

For most of us, it’s not a fast, easy or linear journey with a final destination. But it’s a very worthwhile one, especially when you consider the alternative as Taylor describes:

“Hating your body is like finding a person you despise and then choosing to spend the rest of your life with them while loathing every moment of the partnership.”

Everybody deserves to have the wonder-filled, shame-free relationship with their body that they came into the world with—including you. Don’t settle for anything less.