If You Don't Want an Apple, Are You Truly Hungry?

Have you ever heard of the “Apple Test?”

The basic idea is that if you’re truly physically hungry, you’ll happily eat an apple (or other produce—you know, something “healthy”). 

If you don’t want an apple, you’re probably not actually hungry. 

While I believe its intent is to help you decipher physical hunger from emotional hunger, the messaging behind this diet culture nonsense basically says that:

1/ you can’t trust your hunger or your desires, and

2/ if you want to eat something other than an apple, banana or carrot sticks, you’re engaging in bad behavior and ultimately a bad person.

Mistrust, Question and Judge
Diet culture messes up your relationship with food in many ways, including teaching you to mistrust, question and judge your hunger.

It sounds something like this…

• I just ate breakfast an hour ago but I’m hungry again. I shouldn’t eat so soon after a meal.

• I’m famished! I could have my lunch now but it’s not the right time to eat.

• I feel hungry but I’m probably just thirsty. I’ll have a glass of water.

• I can’t believe I’m hungry already! My appetite is out of control.

• My stomach is growling but I have to wait # hours between meals.

• I’m feeling a bit hungry, but it’s bad to snack. 

• I’m hungry but I shouldn’t eat so close to dinner. 

• What’s wrong with me? Why am I always so hungry?

• I feel hungry but I’m likely just bored.

• If I’m not hungry enough to eat an apple, I’m not truly hungry.

If any of these scenarios sound familiar, you’re not alone.

When my clients and I explore their relationship with hunger, they are often surprised to discover how much diet culture influences how they respond to their body’s hunger signals.

We Know Better Than You
Diet culture tells you that you and your body can’t be trusted, that it knows better than you do when you’re hungry, when it’s okay to eat, what’s okay to eat, and how much is okay to eat.

It makes you believe that you should only eat when you’re really hungry and if you are, you should only eat certain foods. Eating at any other time, for any other reason, is bad, excessive, and a lack of discipline and willpower.

Diet culture says that to be a “good eater,” you must adhere to its external rules instead of listening to your internal cues. 

Eating Isn’t Easy
As you may know very well, when diet culture is in charge, eating feels complicated, stressful and guilt-ridden.

You may find yourself debating every eating decision, white knuckling it until it’s the “right” time to eat, or feeling guilty when you eat at the “wrong” time or for the "wrong" reasons.

You may frequently delay eating until you’re ravenous and then, understandably, need as much food as possible as fast as possible, which usually isn’t a very satisfying experience.

Your Hunger is Valid
A big part of Intuitive Eating is rebuilding trust in yourself and your innate body wisdom. 

This includes, to the best of your ability, learning how to become more attuned to your body’s various hunger signals and honoring its nourishment needs in a timely manner—without any judgment, hesitation or second-guessing. 

Of course, in addition to diet culture, there are other factors that can interfere with your ability to hear and honor your hunger cues, such as stress, sleep deprivation, certain health conditions, medications, neurodivergence, schedule constraints, food insecurity and more.

But let’s start with the pervasive role diet culture plays and with getting clear on one very important thing: your hunger and desires are real and valid even if you don’t want to eat an apple.

What Food Peace Looks Like

I talk a lot about making peace with food.

While you may have a sense of what I’m referring to, I thought it would be helpful to give some examples of what it actually looks like. 

You know you’ve made peace with food when…

• You stop judging your day and yourself as good or bad based on what you ate.

• You no longer feel anxious, bad or guilty about your food choices and eating behaviors.

• You don’t feel preoccupied with food and obsess over every morsel you put in your mouth.

• You stop adhering to food rules and letting diet culture dictate your eating.

• You eat whatever sounds satisfying, tastes satisfying and feels satisfying in your body.

• You no longer think you have to make up for your eating by exercising more, eating less at your next meal, or going on a cleanse or diet.

• You trust yourself to keep previously off-limits foods in your house because you’re no longer afraid you’ll lose control with them.

• You no longer feel your eating requires self-control and willpower.

• You're excited to attend social events again because you’re no longer worried you’ll blow your diet.

• You order what you truly want at restaurants rather than basing your decision on what you think you should eat or what your companions are eating.

• You stop believing you have to earn the right to eat something by exercising, skipping meals or being “good” all day.

• You no longer eat in secret because you aren’t ashamed anymore of your desires. 

• You have much more time, energy and headspace for more fulfilling, meaningful and fun things.

• You just eat and move on.

I could list more examples, but I think you get the idea. 

I encourage you to reflect on what food peace would look like for you. How would it change your life?

It's Worth It, Your Worth It
Of course, making peace with food doesn’t happen overnight. 

For most of us, the road to food peace is long, winding and rocky. 

However, no matter how bumpy, scary and challenging your journey may be, the freedom, ease and peace you’ll discover along the way are so very worth it. You're worth it.

Why You Obsess About Food

Do you spend a lot of time, energy and headspace thinking about food?

Is it hard to focus on work, concentrate on a book or show, or stay present while socializing or parenting because you’re distracted by thoughts about what you’re allowed to eat, when you’re allowed to eat, what you shouldn’t have eaten, or what you really want to eat but won’t let yourself have?

If this describes your experience, it’s most likely because:

1/ You are not eating enough

and/or

2/ You are not eating what you really want

If you are restricting your food intake because you are following a plan, program or rules that dictate your eating, it’s only natural that you will feel both physically and psychologically deprived and thus be preoccupied with food.*

Not About Willpower, Discipline or Addiction
Constant thoughts about food are not due to a lack of willpower, poor self-discipline or food addiction, despite what our diet culture wants you to believe.

When your very wise body is not getting its nourishment needs met due to food scarcity, deprivation and undereating, it will do everything it can to get you to eat, including flooding your mind with thoughts of food.

In order to stop obsessing about food, you need to:

1/ Honor Your Hunger
Eat as soon as possible when subtle hunger sensations surface—or before they do if you anticipate becoming hungry yet circumstances won’t enable you to stop and eat (e.g., a work situation where eating isn’t possible).

If you have a hard time sensing your hunger cues, which can be the result of dieting, medication, certain health conditions, trauma and other factors, set an alarm on your phone or watch reminding you to eat at regular intervals. 

In general, you want to eat about every two to four waking hours depending on what and how much you consume at each sitting. For example, if you prefer to eat small meals or snacks throughout the day instead of larger meals, you may need to eat about every two hours.

Should you feel tempted to ignore the alarm when it goes off, remind yourself that you need to eat food to stop obsessing about food.  

2/ Eat Unconditionally
Give yourself full, unconditional permission to eat what you truly want whenever you want it—assuming you have access to it and don’t have any limitations due to a health condition, such as a nut allergy or celiac disease. 

Giving yourself the freedom to eat unconditionally isn’t being reckless or indulgent. It's about ditching external food rules that disconnect you from your body’s needs and desires and instead eating whatever tastes and feels the most satisfying to you.

Space for More Fulfilling Things
When your body’s nourishment needs are fully met and you no longer feel a sense of scarcity, deprivation and dissatisfaction with food, it will take a balanced place in your life.

You will think about food much less, ultimately freeing up space for more fulfilling, meaningful things.

If you have a long history of dieting and disordered eating, honoring your hunger and giving yourself unconditional permission to eat will likely feel very scary and challenging at first.

Your eating may feel off-kilter or out-of-sorts; this is a normal part of the process. Once you and your body truly trust that your needs will be consistently met, these feelings will subside. 

It’s essential to be patient and compassionate with yourself and, if possible, to get support from an Intuitive Eating-informed counselor, therapist, nutritionist or online community.

I encourage you to also keep reminding yourself of what’s on the other side of this often hard and messy work: a peaceful, balanced and liberating relationship with food.

*It’s important to note that these feelings can also be due to food insecurity if you don’t have reliable access to enough food because of financial constraints or other barriers. If this is the case, I encourage you to seek out local food banks and public assistance programs. Here’s a helpful place to start.