Do You Lick Your Peanut Butter Knife?

I remember years ago watching a weight-loss episode on a popular talk show. One of the calorie-cutting tips given was to never lick your peanut butter knife.

This made me sad. Very sad.

Who doesn’t love to lick their knife clean after making a PB&J sandwich, almond-butter toast, or bagel with cream cheese?

It’s fun! It’s yummy! It’s super satisfying!

Harmful, Not Helpful
Every day, we’re bombarded with messages like these that are often more harmful than helpful.

They cause us to be hyper-vigilant about our eating. They result in pointless food rules, restriction and rigidity. They lead to unnecessary fear, stress, shame and suffering.

If you bought into the “no knife-licking” rule, yet failed to follow it (which, if you’re like me, is highly likely!), your thoughts may sound something like this:

• Licking this knife is a big no-no—you know that!

• I am being bad, and naughty, and reckless.

• I have no willpower or self-control. No wonder I look the way I do.

• What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I follow one freaking simple rule?

• Ugh, I really hope no one saw me do that.

• I can’t be trusted with peanut butter; I’m going to stop buying it.

• I feel guilty and need to make up for this food sin. No dessert for me tonight!

• I really want to double-dip my knife back into the jar and lick it again.

• Screw it. I’ve come this far, I might as well keep going back for more!

• I shouldn’t do this, but licking the knife clean is so much easier than getting peanut butter off my dishcloth!

Does any of this sound familiar?

Challenge Your Food Rules
I spend a lot of time helping my clients identify and investigate their food rules. 

We deconstruct and challenge them, exploring questions, such as: Where did this rule come from? Is it true? Is it reasonable, sustainable and pleasurable? How do you feel and act when you break it? Is it helpful or harmful?

About 99.9 percent of the time, my clients determine their food rules are causing them far more harm than good.

They realize how their rules are creating an unhealthy relationship with food and negatively impacting their physical, mental, emotional and social health.

As my clients start to shed their food rules, a sense of freedom, empowerment, peace and ease surfaces.

Instead of listening to external sources, they begin trusting their intuition, body wisdom and direct experience to guide them.

And they start licking their peanut butter knife again.

5 Gifts to Give Yourself this Holiday Season

If you’re desiring a more peaceful, loving, trusting and relaxed relationship with food and your body, here are five gifts to consider giving yourself this holiday season.

1/ Wear Comfortable Clothing
You know those holiday party clothes in your closet that haven’t fit comfortably in years, if ever? Get rid of them. 

Instead, buy, borrow or rent an outfit that fits your here-and-now body—one that makes you feel fabulous instead of frustrated. 

2/ Smash Your Scale
It’s so easy to let the number on your scale define you, to dictate how you feel about yourself and determine how you go about your day.

By smashing your scale, you're reclaiming your power from a worthless piece of junk that’s completely incapable of measuring your innate worth and overall wellbeing.

Of course, you can donate your scale; however, it’s a lot more fun to smash it! Just be sure to wear safety goggles.

3/ Silence Your Food Grinch
Silence the Grinch (a.k.a. the Food Police) in your head that says you’re being bad and will have to pay for eating all the yummy holiday fare.

Unless you stole the food or harmed someone to get it, there is absolutely no reason to feel bad, guilty or ashamed about your food choices. Nor do you ever have to make up for your eating. 

(For more holiday Intuitive Eating tips, click here.)

4/ Take Timeouts
Despite all the delight the holidays bring, the season can be quite stressful. When you’re overwhelmed, it’s easy to become disconnected from your body and its needs. 

Strive to take regular timeouts for rejuvenating, centering self-care, whether it’s going for a walk, soaking in the tub, meditating by the fire, or getting lost in a book. 

You can also try my number-one holiday stress buster.

5/ Ditch Dieting
Resolve to not jump on the dieting bandwagon come January. And when I say dieting, I mean any plan or program with a bunch of rules and restrictions. 

Diets erode your ability to trust your body and your instincts, and negatively impact your physical and psychological wellbeing. Plus, they suck all the joy out of eating and living.

Beyond the Holidays
If you want to give yourself the gift of a more peaceful relationship with food and your body that lasts well beyond the holidays, consider my private coaching program and upcoming Intuitive Eating Workshop (early bird enrollment ends January 3!). 

4 Intuitive Eating Tips for a Peaceful Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving can be a stressful time, especially if you have a fraught relationship with food. Following are four Intuitive Eating tips to help you navigate the holiday (and every day) with greater ease.

1. Fire Your Internal Food Police
Your internal food police are the loud voices in your head that tell you that you’re “good” or “bad” based on what or how you ate.

They try to enforce the unreasonable rules diet culture has created and make you feel guilty and ashamed about your food choices. And, they compel you to take compensatory measures to make up for your “food sins,” like exercising excessively or detoxing post-holiday—unhelpful behaviors that usually backfire.

In order to have a peaceful relationship with food, you must fire your food police by challenging your beliefs and rules and removing any morality and judgment surrounding food.

Keep in mind that…

• All foods are emotionally equivalent regardless of their nutritional value. A baked sweet potato is equal to sweet potato pie; eating one or the other doesn’t make you good or bad.
  

• Making peace with food means giving yourself unconditional permission to eat whatever looks good, tastes good and feels good in your body, without internal judgment or external influence.
  

• All foods fit in a balanced diet. This includes everything from turkey, stuffing and green-bean casserole to Brussels sprouts, mashed potatoes and mac-and-cheese. 
  

• Normal eating includes sometimes eating simply for pleasure and sometimes eating until you're stuffed. Neither one is a crime you have to pay a penance for.
  

• Unless you stole your food or harmed someone to get it, there’s no place for guilt in your eating world.
  

2. Set Boundaries with External Food Police
Your external food police are people who say things like “Do you really need more mashed potatoes?” or “You’re gonna regret that second slice of pecan pie!”

Regardless of the food cop’s intentions, you have the right to eat whatever you want without having someone negatively comment on, criticize, judge or question your choices.

Whether it’s a family member, partner or friend patrolling your eating, it’s important to set boundaries regarding what comments are inappropriate and unwelcomed. Here are a few comebacks:

• I trust myself to give my body what it needs.
  

• You mind your own plate and I’ll mind mine.
  

• I know you mean well, but your comments aren’t helpful.

Head on over to here for more ideas.

3. Say No to Food Pushers
Whether they are trying to express their love, be a gracious host or offload their extra food, food pushers can be tricky to say no to, especially when they’re persistent. However, you’re under no obligation to take food you don’t want, either because you’re full or simply don’t desire it.

If a simple “No, thank you” doesn’t work, try responding with:

• It looks so yummy but I’m full; I’d love to take some home or get your recipe.
  

• I’d really love to eat more, but couldn’t possibly swallow another bite without feeling uncomfortably full.
  

• I know I usually say yes, however, I’m trying to honor the messages my body is sending me, and right now, it's telling me it's full! I’m sure you can respect this.

4. Squash the Diet and Weight Talk
“I’m being so bad! Today is definitely my cheat day!"

“This is a calorie bomb! We'll need to burn this off tomorrow!”

"I can't believe how many carbs I'm eating. I'm going to pay for this!"

During the Thanksgiving feast, it’s not uncommon to hear remarks like these. Nor is it uncommon for such remarks to trigger feelings of anxiety, guilt and shame.

Set an intention before the festivities to not participate in diet and weight talk. Instead, switch the topic to travel, sports, or the reason for the season—gratitude.

I hope these tips help you have a more peaceful and relaxed relationship with food, both on Thanksgiving Day and every day of the year.