Bye Bye TV, Gossiping and Body Bashing

Are you a lover of learning? 

I am. 

My curious mind and insatiable appetite for knowledge coupled with my deep desire to support my clients in living the best life possible means I’m constantly absorbing new information and learning fresh ways to help others thrive. 

Most recently, I embarked on a yearlong journey to obtain my certification in positive psychology, the scientific study of individual and societal happiness and flourishing. 

As a part of my training, I flew to the East Coast for a weeklong immersion in March. While killing time at an airport bookstore, I spent a few moments scanning the covers of women and men's magazines (e.g., fashion, fitness, health, etc.). I was quite disturbed and saddened by what I saw. 

The extreme exploitation and objectification of women reminded me of why I stopped reading these magazines (along with celebrity pubs) years ago. I don't like their negative messaging—mainly that a woman’s value lies in her youth, beauty, body shape and sexuality. Nor do I like the feelings of inadequacy and deficiency they are designed to provoke. I don't want to waste my time and pollute my mind with them.

Bye Bye TV, Gossiping and Body Bashing
I’ve made other changes over the years to diminish the negativity in my life so that I can preserve my energy for more fulfilling, positive pursuits. For example:

• I limited my news exposure (research has found that people who frequently tune into the news have higher levels of stress, anxiety, fear and pain)
   

• I discontinued watching TV, with the exception of an occasional program that is super inspiring and/or informative, like Oprah's Super Soul Sunday or a PBS documentary
   

• I stopped viewing violent movies 
   

• I greatly reduced my complaining, gossiping and judging 
   

• I quit speaking negatively about my body to others and myself 

Of course, some of these changes were easier than others. I’d much rather read a good book than watch TV. And some were more challenging, like no longer criticizing my body.

As a result of ridding these toxins from my world, I feel incredibly lighter and more balanced, relaxed, peaceful and joyful. And, well, much more positive.

How Does Negativity Contaminate Your Life?
Take a moment to do this quick negativity inventory:

• What sources of negativity contaminate your life?
   

• How are they impacting your health and wellbeing?
   

• What steps can you take to remove or reduce them?
   

• Which one can you start addressing immediately?
   

• How will you feel when you decrease your toxic load?

I've also taken numerous actions to boost the positivity in my life, like keeping a daily gratitude journal. We'll dive deeper into positivity boosters another time.

Why I Couldn't Stop Eating Conversation Hearts

Valentine's Day reminds me of a time in my life when I couldn’t be left alone with a bag of conversation hearts without eating every single one of those pastel sugar bombs. And, thanks to handfuls of those cutely packaged Valentine’s Day mini candy bars, February afternoons at my corporate gig became much more bearable.
 
Of course, my sweet tooth didn’t rear its demanding, insatiable head just in February. Bingeing on sugary treats was a year-round occurrence back then. Eating them made me feel alive when I felt dead inside from doing unfulfilling, uninspiring work.
 
The less alive I felt, the stronger my desire was for quick hits of intense food. When I flatlined, sugar was my lifeline.
 
A Symbolic Substitute
For many of us, sugar is a symbolic substitute for fulfillment and freedom. For others, it’s salty snacks, fatty foods, booze or pot. These things take us to a place where we can forget--albeit temporary--about the dissatisfaction and discomfort in our lives. We use them to leave ourselves when life gets hard.
 
It’s not that these things are necessarily bad, or that we’re bad people for consuming them, or that they shouldn’t be a source of pleasure. Challenges arise when we rely on them to fulfill a need they were never ever meant to fill.
 
If this sounds all too familiar, what steps--big and small--can you take to feel more alive in your day-to-day existence?
 
How can you infuse more vitality into the realms of your life that feel lackluster and lifeless, whether it’s work, relationships, intimacy, physical movement, spirituality, personal growth, creativity, etc.?
 
Take a minute to write down all the things that make you feel more alive. Don’t hold back. 
 
A few items on my list include: aligning my passions and values with my career, running at sunrise, re-centering at yoga, challenging my body with a new workout, walking with a friend, reading a captivating book, learning new ideas, hiking along the coast, planning trips, exploring foreign lands, losing myself in a creative project, helping others, and connecting with my coaching clients.
 
What makes you come alive?
 
Remember, food can fill you up, but it can’t fulfill you.

Where I've Been and the Power of Gratitude

I just returned from an amazing solo trip to Laos and Cambodia (hence the reason I haven’t been posting lately). Traveling is one of my greatest passions; it truly feeds my soul.

Exploring foreign lands, especially developing countries, always gives me a wider perspective on life and deeper gratitude for all that I have, like clean water, hot showers and easy access to medical care. It also reminds me of how little one needs to be happy.

The Power of Gratitude
Like travel, the holidays also serve as a wonderful reminder to be grateful for all that’s good in our lives. However, the benefits of practicing gratitude year-round are endless from a stronger immune system, sounder sleep and reduced stress to increased energy, more rewarding relationships and greater life satisfaction.  

6 Simple Gratitude Practices
Here are six simple practices to help you cultivate a daily attitude of gratitude:

1. Keep a gratitude journal by recording five or so things big and small everyday that you’re grateful for.
   

2. Create a gratitude jar. Anytime you experience a poignant moment of gratitude, write it on a piece of paper and drop it in a jar. Once or twice a year, perhaps on your birthday and New Year’s Eve, empty the jar and review everything you wrote.
   

3. Write a gratitude letter to someone who has had a profound impact on your life expressing your appreciation for all the gifts she or he has given you.
   

4. Share the day’s grateful moments around the dinner table. Doing so will surely lead to some heart-warming, memorable conversations.
   

5. When you tuck your kiddo into bed or snuggle up with your partner at night, share three things each of you are grateful for.
   

6. Express gratitude for each part of your body as you apply lotion to it. For example, thank your legs for enabling you to exercise, your arms for carrying your child, or your hands for performing millions of miracles throughout the day from tying shoes and texting friends to scratching your dog's belly and selecting a perfectly ripe avocado.

With Deep Gratitude,
Renee