How Do You Control Your Appetite?

Naturally, after bragging about how I never get sick to a gym mate, I was struck down with a nasty flu bug. My long list of symptoms included zero appetite. Not only was I not hungry, everything I ate tasted awful. 

After nearly two weeks, I knew I was on the road to recovery when I woke up one morning with a voracious appetite. It felt so good to feel hungry and get pleasure from food again.

Controlling Appetite
My experience prompted me to reflect on the importance of appetite. 

Every day, we're bombarded with messages about how to control, suppress or conquer our appetite. Thus, it's no surprise that many of us view our appetite as the enemy, something that can't be trusted, something to fear, something that must be controlled.

When you think about it, however, your appetite is essential for life. It keeps you alive by telling you it's time to eat. Fighting it simply goes against the laws of nature. 

Fighting your appetite also leads to cravings, binge eating and overeating. And, fighting anything puts your body in the physiologic stress response, which increases cortisol, a hormone that, when constantly elevated, contributes to adverse health conditions.

Yet, so many of us have been trained to believe that having an appetite is bad and that controlling it is good. 

In Caroline Knapp's book, Appetites, she speaks of our culturally conditioned suspicion that "hungers themselves are somehow invalid or wrong, that indulgences must be earned and paid for, that the satisfaction of appetites often comes with a bill...

...appetites are at best risky, at worst impermissible...yielding to hunger may be permissible under certain conditions, but most likely it's something to be Earned or Monitored and Controlled. A controlled appetite, prerequisite for slenderness, connotes beauty, desirability, worthiness."

Your Appetite: Friend or Foe?
How would you describe your relationship with your appetite?

Is it your friend or foe? Do you trust it, fight it, ignore it, override it? 

Do you feel anxious when it calls, powerful when you restrain it, or weak when you cave into it?

Finding Your Natural Appetite
It is possible to cultivate a natural, easy and life-affirming relationship with your appetite. Doing so requires tuning into the wisdom of your body and trusting it to guide you—not some external forces or a belief that wanting to eat says anything about who you are as a person.  

Vegan? Paleo? Raw? Which Way is the Right Way?

Years ago, after hearing a leader in the raw food movement speak with such passion and conviction regarding the power of a raw food diet, I was ready to give it a whirl. Until my acupuncturist told me raw foods were not good for my constitution and a girl at my gym shared how her hair started falling out when she became a raw foodist. I decided this path might not be for me, and was actually relieved, as one of my all-time favorite dishes is a hot bowl of homemade soup.

Then I learned about the blood type diet. I was intrigued until I discovered that my O blood type meant I would function best on a meat-centric diet. I stopped eating meat when I was 17 for a variety of reasons and really didn't want to return to my meat-eating ways.

Some years later, after reading a book on the dangers of gluten, I was convinced if I ate one more kernel of wheat, it would kill me. So I started playing around with a gluten-free diet.

I've listened to various experts talk about dairy over the years, and as a result, I’ve gone from skim milk to whole milk to raw milk to coconut milk.

I could go on and on regarding my history of bouncing around from one idea to the next, but I think you get the point.

Confused? Join the Club.
It’s easy to become confused and overwhelmed by the constant influx of new information and varying opinions on nutrition, diets, health and wellness. Much of it is quite compelling, extremely convincing, very tempting and maddeningly contradictory.

Vegan? Paleo? Low carb? Low fat? Gluten? Whole wheat?

Three square meals a day? Or, fast two days a week?

What’s a person to do?

This is what I do, and what I tell my clients:

Your body is utterly unique.

So are your nutritional needs and food preferences. A way of eating that works for someone else may not work for you. There is no one-size-fits-all approach.

Experiment with an open mind to discover what works best for YOUR body—not your boyfriend’s, best friend’s or favorite celebrity’s body.

Tune into the messages your body is sending you. It will tell you if dairy gives you gas, if diet soda gives you a migraine, or if coffee gives you acid reflux. It will show you if it thrives on a vegetarian diet or one with animal protein—or if it feels best somewhere in between.

In order to hear the wisdom of your body, you must slow down. You must be willing to pay attention and make connections, then honor what your body is telling you.

Remaining flexible is also key. Your body and nutritional needs are constantly changing. What worked for you three years ago, may not work for you today.

Connecting the Dots
Figuring all of this out can feel like a daunting task, especially if you’re not used to listening to and trusting your body.

If you want support, give me a shout. I can help you connect the dots and determine what way of eating works best for YOU.

I promise you, the freedom, empowerment and ease that come from crafting your own personal diet are so worth it.

Curiosity Killed the Craving (and the Bingeing)

I used to binge on cookies.

Giant peanut-butter chocolate-chunk cookies. 

Each binge was followed by relentless self-attack and self-loathing...feelings of guilt, shame and weakness....and, of course, promises to never ever do it again.

Yet, somehow, despite my best intentions, I’d find myself right back in the same place days later. Standing in my kitchen in the dark shoving cookies in my mouth. Crumbs scattered on my shirt. Chocolate smeared across my face. Belly beyond stuffed.

I haven’t binged like that in years. 

I no longer experience such intense cravings.

It’s not because I have tremendous willpower.

It’s because instead of beating myself up, I became curious.

Instead of shouting at myself, “You have no self-control, you suck!,” I started gently asking myself, “Hey, what’s this all about? What’s going on here?”

By pausing and becoming compassionately curious, I was able to cultivate greater awareness for why I was doing what I was doing. 

Stillness coupled with expanded awareness is far more powerful than willpower. 

Often, before we can say "no," we have to understand why we say "yes." Every action has a positive intention and every action is to fulfill a need. 

When I finally understood what was driving my compulsion—a rigid diet, false persona, pleasure deficiency—and the deeper needs I was trying to meet, my binge eating ended. 

I stopped focusing on keeping sweets out of reach and started focusing on fulfilling my unmet needs and desires. When I quit depriving myself of food and the life I longed for, I no longer relied on cookies to give me something they were never meant to.

How can you bring more compassionate curiosity to your relationship with food?