What's Your Story?

For years, I believed the farthest I could run was three miles. That was my limit. End of story.

Then one day I went to cheer on a friend while she ran a half marathon. As I watched hundreds of runners cross the finish line, I was totally surprised and inspired by the tremendous diversity of racers. People of every size, shape and age ran those 13.1 miles. Seeing them made me reconsider my story. Was it true? Or, was it in need of a major rewrite? If they could run that far, maybe I could too.

So I started running a little bit more every week, challenging myself to go further and further. Eventually, I ran my first half marathon. As I crossed the finish line, I remember thinking there was no way I could run twice as far to complete a full marathon—that would be 26.2 miles and I was dog-tired after just 13.1!

Yet, I was intrigued by the idea...

My half-marathon experience had boosted my running confidence and opened my mind to new possibilities. So, I continued to rewrite my story. Soon, I was running multiple full marathons—and loving every minute.

Our Stories Create Limiting Beliefs
We all have stories that create limiting beliefs that disempower us, shape our identity, and hold us back from manifesting the best version of ourselves. Here are some common ones in the realm of food and body:

• I can’t love my body until I lose weight.

• Everything will be better when I’m thinner.

• I can’t [swim, dance, clothes shop, date, etc.] until I weigh less.

• I’ll always struggle with eating and my weight.

• I can’t be trusted with food; I have no self-control.

• Eating intuitively isn’t possible for me.

• I’ll never be a good cook.

• I don’t have the discipline to exercise regularly.

• Taking time for self-care is selfish.

Change Your Story, Change Your Life
Often, the stories we believe about ourselves come from other people. When we buy into them, we become a passive participant in our life, living according to other people’s stories about us and the way the world works.

The good news is, you can change your stories, just as I did with my three-mile tale.

Start now by asking yourself these questions:

• What are the dominant stories in my life?

• How are these stories disempowering me and holding me back?

• How can I rewrite them so they are more empowering?

• What actions can I take to reinforce my new stories?

• What evidence can I find to support my new stories?

• How will my life change as a result of my new stories?

Helping my clients recognize and rewrite their disempowering narratives fuels the transformation they're seeking. If you'd like support with changing the stories that are keeping you stuck and unhappy, click here to schedule a complimentary consultation call today.

Curiosity Killed the Craving (and the Bingeing)

I used to binge on cookies.

Giant peanut-butter chocolate-chunk cookies. 

Each binge was followed by relentless self-attack and self-loathing...feelings of guilt, shame and weakness....and, of course, promises to never ever do it again.

Yet, somehow, despite my best intentions, I’d find myself right back in the same place days later. Standing in my kitchen in the dark shoving cookies in my mouth. Crumbs scattered on my shirt. Chocolate smeared across my face. Belly beyond stuffed.

I haven’t binged like that in years. 

I no longer experience such intense cravings.

It’s not because I have tremendous willpower.

It’s because instead of beating myself up, I became curious.

Instead of shouting at myself, “You have no self-control, you suck!,” I started gently asking myself, “Hey, what’s this all about? What’s going on here?”

By pausing and becoming compassionately curious, I was able to cultivate greater awareness for why I was doing what I was doing. 

Stillness coupled with expanded awareness is far more powerful than willpower. 

Often, before we can say "no," we have to understand why we say "yes." Every action has a positive intention and every action is to fulfill a need. 

When I finally understood what was driving my compulsion—a rigid diet, false persona, pleasure deficiency—and the deeper needs I was trying to meet, my binge eating ended. 

I stopped focusing on keeping sweets out of reach and started focusing on fulfilling my unmet needs and desires. When I quit depriving myself of food and the life I longed for, I no longer relied on cookies to give me something they were never meant to.

How can you bring more compassionate curiosity to your relationship with food?

Why I Couldn't Stop Eating Conversation Hearts

Valentine's Day reminds me of a time in my life when I couldn’t be left alone with a bag of conversation hearts without eating every single one of those pastel sugar bombs. And, thanks to handfuls of those cutely packaged Valentine’s Day mini candy bars, February afternoons at my corporate gig became much more bearable.
 
Of course, my sweet tooth didn’t rear its demanding, insatiable head just in February. Bingeing on sugary treats was a year-round occurrence back then. Eating them made me feel alive when I felt dead inside from doing unfulfilling, uninspiring work.
 
The less alive I felt, the stronger my desire was for quick hits of intense food. When I flatlined, sugar was my lifeline.
 
A Symbolic Substitute
For many of us, sugar is a symbolic substitute for fulfillment and freedom. For others, it’s salty snacks, fatty foods, booze or pot. These things take us to a place where we can forget--albeit temporary--about the dissatisfaction and discomfort in our lives. We use them to leave ourselves when life gets hard.
 
It’s not that these things are necessarily bad, or that we’re bad people for consuming them, or that they shouldn’t be a source of pleasure. Challenges arise when we rely on them to fulfill a need they were never ever meant to fill.
 
If this sounds all too familiar, what steps--big and small--can you take to feel more alive in your day-to-day existence?
 
How can you infuse more vitality into the realms of your life that feel lackluster and lifeless, whether it’s work, relationships, intimacy, physical movement, spirituality, personal growth, creativity, etc.?
 
Take a minute to write down all the things that make you feel more alive. Don’t hold back. 
 
A few items on my list include: aligning my passions and values with my career, running at sunrise, re-centering at yoga, challenging my body with a new workout, walking with a friend, reading a captivating book, learning new ideas, hiking along the coast, planning trips, exploring foreign lands, losing myself in a creative project, helping others, and connecting with my coaching clients.
 
What makes you come alive?
 
Remember, food can fill you up, but it can’t fulfill you.