Break Free from Your Exercise Police!

Do you need to break free from your Exercise Police?

Like your internal Food Police, the voices in your head that try to enforce food moralism and the unreasonable food rules our diet, wellness and fitness cultures have created, your inner Exercise Police are the voices in your head that try to enforce rules regarding what is and isn’t acceptable when it comes to movement.

Your Exercise Police may sound something like this…

• It’s not really exercise unless you get your heart rate up or break a sweat.

• You must work out for at least X minutes, otherwise it doesn’t count.

• You can’t stop until you go a certain distance or burn a specific number of calories.

• If you skip a workout, you need to eat less to make up for it.

• No matter how your body is feeling, you have to do the workout you planned.

• It’s not worth it if it doesn’t burn very many calories.

• If you don’t work out today, you’ll have to work out twice as hard tomorrow.

• You don’t have the right body for that type of exercise.

• If you ate “badly,” you have to work out to make up for it.

• If you want a “bad” food, you have to work out to earn it.

• If you don’t exercise, you’re bad, lazy, undisciplined and unhealthy.

• If it doesn’t result in weight loss, there’s no point to doing it.

Does any of this sound familiar? I bet you can think of some rules that aren't on this list. I could have gone on and on!

Squash Joy and Connection
When your Exercise Police are driving your decision-making, you may find yourself frequently ignoring the messages your body is sending you, like pain or fatigue, to adhere to your exercise rules.

You may also find yourself feeling less motivated to move, dreading your workouts, pushing your body beyond its limits, experiencing frequent injuries, exercising when you’re sick, or prioritizing exercise over friends and family.

With their very black-and-white, all-or-nothing approach to movement, your Exercise Police likely amplify your stress rather than alleviate it, leave you feeling depleted instead of invigorated, and make you feel guilty and ashamed when you break a rule.

Basically, your Exercise Police suck all the fun and joy out of movement and disconnect you from your innate body wisdom.

How to Break Free
The good news is that you can break free from your Exercise Police by recognizing their presence, challenging their commands, defying their rules, and giving yourself permission to experiment with other possibilities based on what feels right to you.

Instead of adhering to external rules, plans or authorities when it comes to movement (and eating!), listen to your internal cues. This means checking in with your body and honoring what it’s needing and desiring.

Perhaps it’s gentle stretching instead of a fast-paced yoga class, a relaxing walk versus a vigorous run, or a kitchen dance party rather than a boot-camp workout.

Or maybe it’s a rest day, a soak in the tub, or a nap!

Joyful, Intuitive Movement
To help you cultivate a relationship with movement that’s joyful, flexible, balanced and intuitive, ask yourself questions, such as:

• What is my body truly needing and desiring right now?

• What is my motivation for moving right now?

• What am I hoping this activity will do for me?  

• If this activity had zero capacity to decrease my weight, would I still do it?

• How is this movement making me feel?

• Does this feel kind and respectful to my body?

• Does this feel pleasurable or punitive?

• Am I having fun right now? If not, what would be more fun?

There are a million ways to move your body. Why do something that doesn’t feel good and that you don’t enjoy?

Beware of Exercise Moralism
Despite what our diet, wellness and fitness cultures want us to believe, exercise isn’t a moral obligation.

How you choose to move your body, including choosing to not exercise at all, isn’t a reflection of your moral character. (It's important to keep in mind that it's a privilege to even have a choice.)

Just like with food, your exercise choices do not make you a good or bad person or superior or inferior.

What matters most is that you honor what works the best for you and feels the best for your body. 

What Food Freedom Tastes Like

With the Fourth of July upon us, I’ve been reflecting on what Independence Day was like for me as a kid.

Naturally, the fireworks were the highlight of the holiday. However, I also have very fond memories of the food.

I recall kicking off the festivities with a pancake breakfast at our local pool. I happily gobbled up syrup-soaked flapjacks topped with strawberries, blueberries and whipped cream in honor of the occasion.

After hours of swimming and playing with my neighborhood friends, the day would end with a big block party. What a thrill it was to be able to ride my banana-seat bike down the middle of our street!

Picnic tables were hauled from backyards and covered with an array of homemade summer dishes, while a couple of grills smoked away on the sidelines.

Food-Fueled Fun
My nighttime fun was fueled by ketchup-covered hot dogs, honey baked beans, buttery corn-on-the-cob, juicy watermelon wedges, salty chips and dip, and very patriotic Jell-O salads. All of this was washed down with thirst-quenching cups of lemonade.

No matter what I ate, I always had room for a fudgy brownie or strawberry shortcake topped with rapidly melting vanilla ice cream.

I ate what looked good, sounded good and felt good in my body. Sometimes I ate it all, and sometimes I left some behind.

I ate freely and intuitively.

Not Yet Tainted
My young mind hadn’t been tainted yet by diet culture—an oppressive system full of food rules, eating restrictions, good/bad food lists, careful counting (e.g., calories, points, macros, etc.), weight stigma and false promises.

I hadn’t been taught yet that I should be hyper-vigilant with food and micro-manage every morsel.

No one had told me yet that my body couldn’t be trusted and that I needed to rely on a plan or program to tell me how to eat.

I hadn’t learned to abhor my belly, demonize certain foods, feel ashamed about my eating and compensate for my food “sins.”

I didn't worry about others judging my choices nor did I play Hide & Eat to keep myself safe from scrutiny.

Do I Want It?
While I loved all that food, I had more exciting and important things to focus on, like water-balloon tosses, sparklers and bottle rockets.

As an Intuitive Eater, I just ate and moved on.

Eating was simply a matter of: I can have it. Do I want it?

Diet Mentality Takes Over
Unfortunately, all of this changed as I entered my teenage years and began adopting the diet mentality powered by salads, rice cakes and diet sodas (hello, Tab!).

My desire to achieve the “thin ideal” led to decades of disordered eating.

Thankfully, with help from some very wise guides, I eventually broke free from diet culture and made peace with food and my body.

The healing process wasn’t easy or fast. Some days, I feel like I'm still a work-in-progress. But, it’s all been worth it.

Ending the war I was waging against myself enabled me to return to the food freedom and body liberation I experienced as a young girl.   

It’s Still Within You
I’m sharing this story as a reminder that we all came into this world as Intuitive Eaters—that is, we ate based on our instincts, inner cues and desires. We ate without worry, guilt, fear or shame.  

Sadly, we’re losing touch with our ability to eat intuitively at a younger and younger age. Shockingly, an estimated 80 percent of 10-year-old girls have been on a diet.

I’m also sharing my experience to assure you that if you’ve become disconnected from the Intuitive Eater within you, you can reconnect with it.

It hasn’t gone away. It’s just buried under layers of diet-culture gunk, which today, is often packaged under the guise of “wellness.”

Magical Powers Not Required
I don’t have any magical powers. My clients don’t either. If we can relearn how to listen to and trust our bodies, so can you.

“I’m no longer searching for the ‘answer’ to the perfect way to eat. I don’t stress about how I eat because it isn’t that big of a deal anymore. I no longer believe those food guilt thoughts and that is F-R-E-E-D-O-M!”
–Client Molly

My Mom Talks About Dieting Nonstop! How to Ditch Diet & Weight Talk

When you’re working on breaking up with diet culture and healing your relationship with food and your body, you’ll likely become hyper-aware of how much your family members, friends and coworkers (and random strangers!) talk about diets and weight.

Whether it’s your mom raving about her new weight-loss plan, your trainer talking about his latest diet hack, a colleague complaining about how “bad” she’s eating, or a friend's frequent comments on other people’s size, diet and weight talk is everywhere.

If you’re like me, you probably used to participate in these conversations without giving it a second thought. This is completely understandable given how ingrained, habitual and normalized diet and weight talk have become.

However, it doesn’t have to be the norm or acceptable, especially if you find such talk triggers negative feelings about your eating and body, tempts you to try one last diet and other disordered behaviors, or feels stigmatizing, oppressive and downright tiresome.

If this is the case, here are a few strategies for ditching diet and weight talk.

Don’t Contribute
When someone starts talking about these topics, don’t add fuel to the fire. By not contributing to the conversation, it will likely quickly peter out, especially if you’re engaging with just one person.

Change the Subject
There are a gazillion other things to talk about so changing the subject is usually pretty easy. Most of the time, the other person won’t even realize what you’ve done.

Remove Yourself
Remove yourself from the conversation by simply walking away or making an excuse to leave, such as needing to use the restroom or get back to work.

Make a Request, Set a Boundary
If you feel comfortable with making a specific request regarding what would be the most supportive or setting a boundary regarding what is no longer acceptable, following is some language to consider. Of course, what you say will depend on the situation and who you’re talking to.

• Focusing on diets and weight has caused me to have a disordered relationship with food and my body. Will you help me create a healthy one by no longer talking about dieting and weight loss when we’re together?

• We waste so much time and energy talking about what we shouldn’t be eating and what’s wrong with our bodies. Can we agree to ditch the diet and weight talk and focus on more interesting, fun and fulfilling subjects?

• I’m reclaiming my life from our toxic diet culture. Will you help me by not talking about or sending me any info on weight loss and diets, including detoxes, cleanses, resets, reboots and any other form of food restriction?

• All this talk about diets and weight feels so oppressive and disempowering. How about we make a pact to no longer discuss these things?

• I respect that you approach food and weight differently than I do. Can we agree to honor each other’s choices and not talk about these topics anymore?

• I’m learning how to eat intuitively and accept my body. I'd appreciate if you supported me in this process by not bringing up anything about diets and weight. If you’d like to learn more, I’m happy to share my experience with you.

Keep in mind that not everyone will remember your request or boundary, understand it or respect it—especially if they’re entrenched in diet culture. Thus, you may have to remind them multiple times, explain it further or be firmer.

Even if your conversations feel uncomfortable and scary, don’t give up.

You have the right to ask for what you need, to have your needs met, and to surround yourself with unconditional support.