Body Stories I'm Tuning Into

What’s your body story?

When I work with my clients, I want to learn all about their body story.

This includes everything from what their relationship with their body has looked and felt liked over the years and what experiences they’ve had living in their body to the cultural messages they’ve internalized regarding how their body is supposed to be.

Individual body stories and the journey toward self-acceptance are the overriding themes in much of the content I consume, whether it's a book, show or podcast.

The Power of Body Stories
It’s my belief that hearing other people’s body stories, especially from a diverse group of often marginalized voices, can be a powerful part of the healing process.

Hearing others’ stories can help you feel less alone in your struggle and gain a deeper understanding of yourself and your challenges as well as the challenges other folks are navigating.

It can also help you be more accepting of and compassionate toward yourself and others, and enable you to envision what’s possible on your own body-peace journey.

Tune Into These
Following are some of the body stories I've been turning into lately. I hope you will find them as helpful, insightful and inspiring as I have.

My Body is the Right Body Because It’s Mine [YouTube]
“How would I be with my body if there was nothing to fix…except the lens I’m looking through?” asks writer and activist Adrienne Maree Brown when sharing her body story.

In addition to this moving piece, I recommend checking out all of the docu-style videos produced by Elisa Goodkind and Lily Mandelbaum, the mother-daughter duo behind StyleLikeU, especially the Embracing Curves and Redefining Fat series.

Lizzo’s Watch Out for the Big Grrrls [Prime Video]
Lizzo's empowering, uplifting show challenges harmful cultural messaging regarding body size by celebrating 13 talented performers as they audition to become one of her “Big Grrrl” backup dancers.

Full of heart and none of the toxicity many reality shows contain, this Emmy-nominated gem will leave you wanting more—more of this show as well as more programming featuring a wider range of individuals in diverse bodies living full and fulfilling lives because representation truly does matter.

Men Unscripted [Spotify]
Unfortunately, we rarely hear from men regarding their struggles with body image and disordered eating. Fortunately, this new podcast hosted by registered dietitian Aaron Flores gives men of all backgrounds an opportunity to share their story.

Perhaps by listening to body stories like these you will feel compelled to find a safe, trusted space to share your own story as doing so can truly be a liberating and healing experience.

"I love creating shapes with my body, and I love normalizing the dimples in my butt or the lumps in my thighs or my back fat or my stretch marks. I love normalizing my Black-ass elbows. I think it's beautiful."
—Lizzo

What I Do When I'm Not Digging the Skin I'm In

Even though I’ve been on my body acceptance journey for many years now, I still have days when I’m not digging the skin I’m in.

In the past, a challenging body day would easily turn into weeks, if not months. Like a dark cloud, it would loom over me contaminating my every action and interaction.

I’d hide from the world. Push away my partner. And go into fix-it mode—that is, create a plan for changing my body.

Inevitably, my plans always backfired. They weren’t sustainable or pleasurable. They led to rollercoaster weight fluctuations and a disordered relationship with food and exercise. And they only made me loathe my body more.

My Most Powerful Tool
These days, I have an extensive tool kit for navigating a challenging body day with greater ease, from doubling down on weight-neutral self-care to observing my thoughts without getting hooked by them.

One of my most powerful tools is remembering that I came into this world loving my body and that I was taught—without my consent—to see it as flawed (and fixable!) by our pervasive diet culture.

As writer and activist Lindy West says:

“Fight to remember that you are living inside of a cruel, toxic system, and when you hate yourself for gaining five pounds it’s because a billion-dollar industry conditioned you to feel that way for profit.”

Reclaiming My Power
When negative feelings toward my body creep in, I remind myself that I can reclaim my power by understanding that my body is neutral and the only reason I feel bad about it is because I have been programmed to do so from a very young age.

I no longer blame myself for failing to shrink myself. Instead, I blame the systems of oppression that want me to believe my body is a problem to solve.

I now give the middle finger to our insidious diet culture that relentlessly tries to convince me that if I just played my cards right, I’d finally have a flat stomach, cellulite-free thighs and a small, perky butt—and thus finally be worthy, acceptable, happy and healthy.

I no longer stand for this oppressive BS.

I see clearly now that it’s our weight-stigmatizing culture that needs to change, not my body—or yours.

*I highly recommend checking out Lindy West's show, Shrill, the Hulu comedy adapted from her memoir. It's about a struggling young journalist, played by the fabulous Aidy Bryant, who is determined to change her life without changing her body.

Struggling with Body Positivity? Try This Instead...

From social media and celebrities to ad campaigns and wellness programs, body positivity messaging is popping up everywhere these days.

Of course, I’m all for feeling positive about your body. Absolutely!

However, I know it can be really freaking hard, especially if you’ve been at war with your body for years.

If you, like many, struggle with body shame, the idea of making the leap from body loathing to body loving can feel really daunting, if not impossible.

This is completely understandable given our culture’s obsession with unrealistic beauty standards and terribly misguided, damaging tendency to judge and value bodies based on their appearance.

While I do believe you can greatly improve your relationship with your body, I know it can be tough to dig the skin you’re in every single day, even when you've worked hard toward feeling more body positive.

Do This Instead
Rather than striving to reach a state of perpetual body positivity, which can feel forced and like just one more thing to struggle with and fail at, I encourage you to instead focus on body kindness, body respect and body appreciation.

Why? Because no matter how you feel about your body, you can always be kind to it, respect it and appreciate it.

For many of us, practicing body kindness, body respect and body appreciation feels so much more accessible and doable than feeling unconditional adoration for our bodies. All three things can be done at any given moment, in both big and small ways.

What It Might Look Like
What body kindness, respect and appreciation look like is up to you. To help get you started, here are a few practices to consider:

• Speak respectfully about your body to yourself and others

• Dress your here-and-now body in well-fitting, comfortable clothes that make you feel fabulous

• Honor your body’s hunger, cravings, desires and needs

• Nourish your body with foods that are pleasurable and satisfying

• Move your body in a joyful, energizing way

• Acknowledge all the miraculous things your body does for you

• Rest your body with plenty of sleep and relaxation

• Soothe your body with caring, tender touch

• End the comparison game—your body vs. other bodies or your former body

• Revitalize every cell in your body with regular doses of nature

As I’ve seen with myself and with my clients, by focusing on body kindness, respect and appreciation, in time, you will naturally start feeling more positive feelings toward your body.