Why You Rebel Against Your Diet

Have you ever rebelled against your diet? It looks like this...

“Within a few weeks of starting a new diet, the same thing always happens,” says Gina. “I find myself rebelling against the rules. I basically just say f-it and go crazy with all the forbidden foods."

"Of course, I end up feeling like crap. Not only am I stuffed, I also feel angry and ashamed," she admits.

"So, naturally, I go into fix-it mode, which means hopping online in search of a new diet while promising myself that I’ll really stick with it this time.”

Gina believes her inability to stay on a diet is due to her lack of self-control. “If only I had more willpower and discipline, then I’m sure I would finally be successful at this dieting game.”

Healthy Rebellion
What Gina doesn’t realize is that rebelling against her diet is actually very healthy behavior.

When you let a plan, program or person dictate what you eat, how much you eat and when you eat, you give your power away. It’s an assault on your personal autonomy and boundaries.

When you rebel, you’re actually restoring your autonomy and protecting your boundaries. You’re reclaiming your power. This is good thing!

You’re in Charge
Whereas dieting is disempowering, Intuitive Eating is empowering.

With Intuitive Eating, there’s no need to ever rebel because you’re always in charge.

You—and only you—decide what and when to eat based on your body’s cues (e.g., hunger, fullness), satisfaction level, nutritional needs, personal preferences and values. Basically, you eat what feels right when it feels right.

The result: greater ease, freedom and peace in your relationship with food.

What if You Resolved to Do This in 2021?

Happy New Year!

Whether or not you like to make New Year’s resolutions, here’s one intention for the coming year you may want to consider.

Resolve to be kind to your body.

Really, truly kind.

Here’s what body kindness might look like:

• Rejuvenating your body with abundant rest and sleep.

• Moving your body in a joyful way and breaking free from your Exercise Police (no punishing, painful or compensatory workouts).

• Speaking to your body—and about your body—with respect, appreciation, compassion and tenderness.

• Stepping off the dieting roller coaster and away from the physical and physiological harm dieting can cause.

• Listening to and honoring your body’s needs and desires, including its hunger and fullness cues (versus following external eating rules).

• Eating foods that satisfy your body’s need for both nourishment and pleasure.

• Wearing clothes that you love and comfortably fit your here-and-now body.

• Immersing your body in nature, nourishing it with sunshine and fresh air.

• Relaxing your body with deep breathing, stretching, meditation, a massage, a bubble bath, calming music or other soothing activities.

• Thanking your body every day for everything it does for you (like breathing!).

How Would Your Life Change?
I encourage you to reflect on what body kindness means to you and how your life would change if you were kinder to your body.

And, I invite you to consider that your body is a celebration of your survival and it wants more than anything to be your partner throughout this life journey.

How I Stopped Obsessing About Food

When I was in college, I participated in an aerobics class that was held in the basement of some random office building near campus.

I was able to attend for free in exchange for arriving early to set the room up for class, which meant pushing all the desks, chairs and trashcans out of the way so there was plenty of space for leg kicks and grapevines.

Right next to the building was a small cookie shop that baked the most delicious double-chocolate chip cookies. You could smell them a block away.

While sweating away under the fluorescent lights in that low-ceiling makeshift dance studio, I fantasized about sinking my teeth into one of those chewy, gooey delights—a big no-no on my fat-free diet.

Distracted by my food fantasies, I was often sidestepping to the right when everyone else was moving to the left. 

A Major Distraction
I can recall many times when my obsession with food, especially my forbidden foods, prevented me from being fully engaged in my life and present for those around me.

I remember being distracted at a bridal shower by the chocolate layer cake I so badly wanted but wouldn’t let myself have because it would have blown my calorie count for the day.

I spent numerous work meetings preoccupied with the bagels on the table that were off-limits because they didn’t fit into my idea of a healthy diet.

At parties, I barely recalled conversations with friends because my mind was on the pizza box, cheese platter, chip bowl or brownie plate—all “illegal” foods.

Constant State of Deprivation
I thought about food ALL THE TIME. It consumed my life.

Back then, I didn’t understand that the reason I spent so much time, energy and headspace thinking about food was because I was living in a constant state of deprivation.

As a result of all my food rules and restrictions, I incessantly thought about what I could eat, should eat, shouldn’t eat and really wanted to eat.

Unconditional Permission to Eat
When I finally stopped trying to micromanage my diet and force my body to be a size it was never meant to be, my preoccupation with food went away (along with many of the other harmful side effects of dieting).

By slowly learning how to eat intuitively, which includes unconditional permission to eat whatever I want whenever I want, food took a balanced place in my life.

When my deprivation ended, my obsession ended.

The intensity, anxiety, stress and shame I once experienced with food were replaced with a sense of ease, peace, expansiveness and freedom.

As a result, I have so much more space in my life for more important and meaningful things than obsessing about cookies. Now I just enjoy them and move on.