Have You Given Away Your Power?

There were times in my past when I hated my body for not being perfect.

I’d conceal it under baggy sweatshirts and pants. I'd dodge mirrors. I’d hide on the couch instead of going to parties. I’d push away boyfriends when they tried to wrap their arms around my waist.

Many of us reject our bodies when they don’t conform to the ideal size and shape dictated by our culture.

However, rather than self-rejection, what we really need to reject are the lies we’re incessantly fed (and buying into) about how our bodies are supposed to look.

We need to reclaim our power by loving and accepting our bodies unconditionally, and not becoming victims of the profit-making machine that thrives on making us feel inadequate, deficient, less than.

How I Reclaimed My Power
When I started partnering with my body instead of rejecting it, our relationship drastically changed. I began experiencing a sense of ease, peace and freedom I hadn’t felt since I was a very young girl (before I started believing all the BS).

Here are some of the ways I took back my power:

• I stopped believing I could hate, deprive, restrict, starve and punish myself into a version of myself that I finally loved and accepted.
   

• I started trusting my body again to guide me toward food choices based on what my body really wanted and needed. I no longer made eating decisions based on calories, diet plans, my weight, how many miles I ran, etc.
   

• I stopped feeling guilt and shame when I ate so-called “bad” foods.
   

• I stopped constantly weighing myself and letting the number on the scale dictate my feelings, mood and behavior.
   

• I fired my inner mean girl and started speaking to my body—and about it—with kindness, compassion, respect and gratitude.
   

• I created a more body-positive culture by ditching media (e.g., magazines, TV shows, websites) that promoted and perpetuated the thin ideal.

This journey hasn't been fast or easy. But, man, has it been worth it. I’m still a work-in-progress, but I’m never turning back.

How can you reclaim your power?

My Two Thanksgiving Wishes for You...

I have two Thanksgiving wishes for you...
 
1. Slow Down
Years ago, I spent hours with two other women preparing a delicious Thanksgiving feast, only to watch our guests scarf it down in less than 15 minutes, then leave the table. Barely a sentence was spoken throughout the entire meal.

They grabbed dessert and headed back to the TV leaving the cooks behind as we stared at our half-empty plates.

I was disappointed and, well, really annoyed.

My first wish for you this Thanksgiving is to slow down.

Savor every moment and morsel.

Linger over your meal enjoying good conversation with your table mates. Truly taste and savor each and every bite.

My family has a fun tradition of posing questions to the entire table then taking turns answering them. Everyone participates, from ages 6 to 80.

Questions range from “What movie character would you like to be?” and “If you could be any flavor of ice cream, what would you be and why? to "What was your best day ever?”

By slowing down, you will experience greater pleasure and satisfaction and feel much more energized and connected to your body and your loved ones.

2. Write a Thank You Letter…to Your Body

Many of us spend an inordinate amount of time criticizing our body. 

Doing so causes unnecessary stress and suffering. It drains your energy and life force.

My second wish for you is that you begin to adopt a policy of kindness, compassion and acceptance toward your body.

As you count your blessing this Thanksgiving, take time to write a thank you letter to your body. Tell it absolutely everything you’re grateful for.

For example, thank your…

• heart for beating on its own and for feeling all kinds of love

• legs for enabling you to walk, run, dance, hike or ski

• arms for carrying your child or hugging a loved one

• eyes for seeing all the beauty and goodness in the world

• nose for smelling blooming flowers, baking bread, brewing coffee and freshly cut grass

• hands for performing millions of tiny miracles throughout the day, from tying shoes and texting friends to scratching your dog's belly and selecting a perfectly ripe avocado

This simple yet powerful act can put you on the path to creating a more loving, relaxed and peaceful relationship with your body.

For more tips on cultivating an attitude of gratitude, head on over to here.

Do You Should On Yourself?

Does any of this sound familiar?

• I should eat healthier.
• I should exercise more.
• I should go to bed earlier.
• I should cook more.
• I should drink less wine.

I'm guessing you can relate in some way. Most of us, however, don't realize how ineffective a "should" mindset is.

The Trance of Should
When you get stuck in the trance of should, you embed yourself in a negative thought pattern that stirs up feelings of guilt, shame, anxiety and self-contempt. A sense of unworthiness or “I’m not okay as I am” arises leading to tension, contraction and heaviness in the body.  

A should is an unnecessary, self-chosen stressor that often results in overwhelm, frustration, despair and burnout.

No Heart in Should
When you do things simply because you should, your actions lack authenticity, wholeheartedness and pleasure. It’s hard to generate genuine enthusiasm and sustainable motivation when you’re up against a big, heavy should.

Deconstruct Your Shoulds
I have a friend who every few months takes up running only to quit a few weeks later because he hates it. Why does he do this? Because he believes it’s what he should do to have a better body.

What if he stopped to deconstruct the source of this self-imposed should? What or who really drives its? There are a million different ways to exercise; why does he believe that running is the one thing he must do to be right with himself?

How would he feel if he let go of this belief and stopped trying to force himself to do something that isn’t in alignment with his true nature? I’m guessing pretty darn free.

Investigate the Root of Your Should
Operating from a place of should is very disempowering. When you catch yourself shoulding on yourself, stop and investigate the thought.

Ask yourself why you think you should do something. Inquire if you’re trying to live up to someone else’s expectations or society’s standards. Is your should in alignment with your true self and desires?

Liberate Yourself: Swap Should for Could
It's also very helpful to swap your should for could. This gives you the freedom of choice and is much more positive, empowering and liberating. For example:

• I could eat healthier.
• I could exercise more.
• I could go to bed earlier.
• I could drink less wine.
• I could cook more.

Now, investigate with curiosity and compassion if it's something you really want, and if so, what’s stopping you from taking action. Many of us know what we could be doing, but don’t do it because we don’t have the know-how, support or accountability to get unstuck and make lasting change.

I help my clients identify the roadblocks that prevent them from fulfilling their desires. We break down their barriers to change then focus on cultivating lifelong healthy habits not because they should, but because they feel good. As a result, their actions become more effortless, relaxed, pleasurable and sustainable. To learn more, click here to request a complimentary consultation call.