I Shouldn't Be Eating These Fries

Do any of these thoughts sound familiar?

• These fries are so yummy but I should have ordered a side salad instead.

• I need to eat good tomorrow to make up for all these cookies.

• Once I’m done with this bag of chips, I’m not going to buy them again.

• I can have pizza for dinner but need to get back on track this next week.

• It’s okay if I have a slice of cake; it’s a special occasion after all.

These are all examples of mental restriction.

Although you may believe you aren’t restricting your eating, if you have thoughts like these, you are.

Even if you are allowing yourself to physically eat a food (e.g., I'm going to have a donut), if you’re denying yourself on a physiological level (e.g., I shouldn’t be eating this donut), you are restricting.

While a part of you is saying, “Yes, I'm going to eat this” another part of you is saying, “No, I shouldn’t” or “I won’t again.”

Mental restriction creates a threat of future deprivation that often leads to eating past comfortable fullness, sometimes in a way that feels out of control or binge-like.

This is not due to a lack of willpower or self-control. It’s a natural human response to potential food scarcity.

Unfortunately, this very normal and understandable response can make you feel bad, guilty and ashamed—and trigger a desire to diet as a way to gain control of your eating.

Dieting, with all its food rules, will only exacerbate your restrictive mindset (a.k.a. the diet mentality), ultimately creating a more fraught, roller-coaster relationship with food.

If you long for food peace, it’s essential to let go of all forms of restriction.

Intuitive Eating can help you identify and challenge your restrictive thoughts, which can be sublte and sneaky, so you can truly give yourself unconditional permission to eat in way that both tastes and feels satisfying. You deserve nothing but.


Of course, it’s important to note that some foods may need to be avoided due to certain medical conditions, such as a peanut allergy or celiac disease.

I Wanted to Toss All the Christmas Cookies

Over the holidays, I recalled a Christmas many years ago when I was visiting my parents at my childhood home.

Every year, my mom would attend a cookie exchange and return home with a giant platter full of a variety of holiday cookies.

I vividly remember standing alone over that red platter and quickly eating one cookie after another after another. Even though most of them didn’t taste very good to me, I kept eating them.

It felt like I was in a trance.

When I finally snapped to, I was so mad at myself for eating so many cookies. I felt crappy, out of control and powerless.

I certainly didn’t feel I could trust myself with those cookies.

I wanted to toss the entire platter into the trash to prevent myself from eating more but that wasn’t possible given they were meant to be shared among all my family members. I wasn’t sure how I would explain the missing cookies without a lot of lying, embarrassment and shame.

The only thing that helped was reassuring myself that I would get back on track with my eating as soon as the holidays were over.

The Cookies Weren’t the Problem
I haven’t had an eating episode like this one in years.

As I worked on healing my relationship with food and my body, I came to understand that my cookie experience and hundreds of others like it were not due to a lack of willpower or self-discipline. They were due to dieting.

Once I stopped all the restriction and rule-following and started eating unconditionally with guidance from my body’s cues, like hunger, fullness, desire and satisfaction, food lost its power over me.

Without the threat of future deprivation, I no longer had the urge to eat cookies or anything else as if it was my last supper.

Breaking up with diet culture and making peace with food and my body was one of the greatest gifts I’ve ever given myself.

Resolve to Make Peace Instead
Given the world we live in, the desire to diet is completely understandable.

It’s more tempting than ever this time of year as we’re bombarded by weight-loss company ads promising that their method is better than all the others and guaranteed to result in everlasting thinness, health and happiness—even though they don’t have any substantial, including long-term, research to back up their claims.

If you have a history of dieting (or whatever the food-restriction plan is called), you likely know all too well how this game eventually ends: weight regain, feeling like a failure, an even more messed up relationship with food and your body, and so many other undesired outcomes the diet companies don't warn you about.

What if this year, instead of hopping on the diet train, you resolve to make peace with food and your body?

How would doing so change your life?

The last two years have taught us many things, especially how precious life is.

How would you spend your one precious life if you were no longer wasting so much time, energy and headspace obsessing about what you’re eating and your weight?

What if you signed up for peace instead?

4 Gifts to Give Yourself this Holiday Season

If you’re desiring a more peaceful relationship with food and your body, here are four gifts to consider giving yourself this holiday season.

1/ Silence Your Food Grinch
Silence the Grinch (a.k.a. the Food Police) in your head that says you're being bad for enjoying all the yummy holiday fare.

Unless you stole the food or harmed someone to get it, there is absolutely no reason to feel bad, guilty or ashamed about your food choices.

You also never have to earn the right to eat anything or make up for your eating.

(For more holiday Intuitive Eating tips, click here.)

2/ Ditch Diet Culture Content
To help you move away from diet culture and the diet mentality—and stop spending so much time, energy and headspace thinking about food and your body—ditch any content regarding dieting, food restrictions, good and bad foods, weight loss, the thin ideal, fitspo and so on.

Do an audit of all the content you engage with including social media, videos, TV shows, podcasts, apps, websites, blogs, newsletters, magazines, books, cookbooks, etc.

Consider replacing this content with more supportive resources in areas such as Intuitive Eating, Health at Every Size, body liberation and size diversity.

3/ Toss Your Scale
It’s so easy to let the number on your scale define you, to dictate how you feel about yourself and determine how you go about your day.

By tossing (or donating) your scale, you're reclaiming your power from a piece of junk that’s completely incapable of measuring your innate worth and overall wellbeing.

If you’re not quite ready to get rid of your scale, put it in an inconvenient spot, like the back of your closet or a high shelf in your garage.

4/ Skip the Dieting Bandwagon
Resolve to not jump on the dieting bandwagon come January. And when I say dieting, I mean any eating, lifestyle or wellness plan with a bunch of food rules and eating restrictions.

Diets erode your ability to trust your body and your instincts, and negatively impact your physical and psychological wellbeing. Plus, they suck all the joy out of eating and living. 

If you are tempted to go on a diet, which is completely understandable given the world we live in, I encourage you to learn about the potential negative side effects—everything the diet companies don’t warn you about—so you can make an informed decision. If you have a history of dieting, you’re likely quite familiar with these outcomes.

Beyond the Holidays
If you want help getting off the dieting roller coaster and giving yourself the gift of a more peaceful relationship with food and your body that lasts well beyond the holidays, I'm here for you.