I Really Did This… (How Dieting Made Me Crazy)

When I was obsessed with losing weight, I was hyperconscious about every single morsel that entered my mouth. 

One of my go-to snacks was sea-salt soy crisps. I would carefully count out one serving, putting 21 crisps into a bowl. This portion equated to an allowable number of calories.

I would snap at my boyfriend if he innocently grabbed a handful from my bowl to munch on. It left me unsure about how many crisps I could still eat, which caused me great anxiety.

One day, after months of eating these soy crisps, I happened to glance at the nutrition facts label on the back of the package. To my horror, the serving size had changed from 21 crisps to 17, yet the calories remained the same. I had no idea how long ago the change had been made.

I was so incensed, I fired an angry email off to the company’s customer service department. I complained about how incredibly misled I felt. I had been deceived and demanded an explanation.

I don’t remember what the company’s written response was, but they did mail me some coupons.

When I recalled this event years later, I felt deeply embarrassed and ashamed. I still can’t imagine what the person who received my email must have thought about me (hello, crazy lady!).

Dieting’s Dark Side
While I still feel a tad bit embarrassed, I now see this experience as a powerful example of the negative impact dieting can have on not only your physical health, but also your mental, emotional and social health. And when I say dieting, I mean any form of food restriction that’s not medically necessary.

Along with making you do crazy things, dieting can:

• Intensify food and body preoccupation

• Trigger cravings and binges

• Reduce your ability to recognize and honor your hunger and fullness signals

• Provoke feelings of guilt, shame, anxiety, fear, hopelessness and more

• Erode self-trust, self-esteem and confidence

• Lead to harmful food rules, disordered eating and eating disorders

• Slow your metabolism

• Increase your risk of gaining more weight (up to two-thirds of dieters regain more weight than they lost)

• Raise your cortisol level (dieting is inherently stressful)

• Become all-consuming, while other parts of your life suffer, like your relationships, social life, career and hobbies

These are just some of the harmful effects of dieting, but hopefully, it’s enough to help you consider whether or not it’s worth it.  

Ditching Diets Can Be Scary
It can be scary to let go of dieting, especially when it seems like everyone around you is on some type of diet.

If you’re ready to liberate yourself, you can learn how to trust your body wisdom again and return to the intuitive eater you came into this world as. I don’t have any magical powers. If I can do it, so can you. 

My New Year’s Resolution Wish for You

If feeling better in your body is one of your New Year’s resolutions, I encourage you to skip the diets, detoxes, ridiculous rules and rigid regimens.

Instead, resolve to be kind to your body.

Really, truly kind.

Here’s what body kindness might look like for you:

• Giving your body enough rest and sleep.
   

• Moving your body in a joyful way (no punishing, compensatory workouts).
   

• Speaking to your body—and about your body—with respect, appreciation, compassion and tenderness.
   

• Honoring your body’s internal cues of hunger and fullness.
   

• Eating foods that equally satisfy your body’s need for nutrients and pleasure.
   

• Dressing your body in clothes that comfortably fit your here-and-now body.
   

• Immersing your body in nature, nourishing it with sunshine and fresh air.
   

• Relaxing your body with deep breathing, meditation, acupuncture, a massage, bubble bath, etc.
   

• Thanking your body every day for everything it does for you (like breathing!).

Staying on Track
To stay on track with this resolution, when making a decision that will impact your wellbeing, pause and simply ask yourself: Am I being kind to my body?

For example:

• I want to watch another episode, but it would mean losing an hour of sleep. 
   

• I should skip breakfast since I ate a big dinner yesterday, even though my stomach is growling.
   

• Running aggravates my knee, but I must do it to control my weight.
   

• I'm compelled to join in when my friends criticize their bodies; it's how we bond. 

Remember, if you truly want to feel good in your body, kindness is always the answer.

Have You Ever Experienced Something Like This...?

At a dinner party one summer night, after serving myself a second portion of my favorite dishes, a guy at my table narrowed his eyes at me and said with a slight smirk, “Wow, you must really be hungry.”

I wanted to smack him.

At one point in my life, his comment would have set off a major shame spiral.

I would have shrunk down in my seat, hung my head and clamped my mouth shut while my cheeks burned bright red.

Thoughts like these would have raced through my head:

• I’m a pig.
• I shouldn’t be eating so much.
• Going back for seconds is bad.
• I have no self-control.
• I don’t deserve to eat what I want.
• If I want more food, I need to hide while eating it.
• There is something wrong with me.

Painful, Powerful Words
As I shared before with my brownie incident, careless comments like this can be really painful and very powerful.

They can have a huge impact that negatively shapes your core beliefs regarding who you are and what you deserve. For me, they contributed to years of disordered eating.

Thankfully, with the help of some very wise teachers, I was able to shed my destructive beliefs and behaviors.

I learned how to give myself unconditional permission to eat and enjoy food, and how to cultivate a more nourishing, trusting and peaceful relationship with food and my body.

Unconditional Permission
Each one of us has a right to eat whatever we want—whenever, wherever and however we want it.

You don’t have to earn the right to eat something.

You don’t have to justify your food choices, make excuses for them, hide them, or apologize for them.

And what’s on your plate is nobody’s business.

An Opportunity for Gratitude
After the initial flash of anger I felt when that guy made his comment, I caught myself starting to justify my actions to the entire table, something along the lines of “I’ve hardly eaten today” and "I had a light lunch." 

Realizing what I was doing, I stopped talking, picked up my fork and went back to enjoying my meal.

Later, while reflecting on the situation, I came to appreciate the opportunity it gave me to see just how far I’ve come.