Do You Think About Food Nonstop?

Do you spend a lot of time, energy and headspace thinking about food?

Is it hard to focus on work, concentrate on a book or show, or stay present while socializing because you’re distracted by thoughts about what you’re allowed to eat, when you’re allowed to eat, what you shouldn’t have eaten, or what you really want to eat but won’t let yourself have?

If this describes your experience, it’s most likely because:

1/ You are not eating enough

and/or

2/ You are not eating what you really want

If you are restricting your food intake because you’re following a plan, program or rules that dictate your eating, it’s only natural that you will feel both physically and psychologically deprived and thus feel preoccupied with food.*


Not About Willpower, Discipline or Addiction
Constant thoughts about food are not due to a lack of willpower, poor self-discipline or food addiction, despite what our diet culture wants you to believe.

When your very wise body is not getting its nourishment needs met because it’s experiencing hunger and food deprivation, it will do everything it can to get you to eat, including flooding your mind with thoughts of food.

In order to stop obsessing about food, you need to:

1/ Honor Your Hunger
Eat as soon as possible when your hunger sensations surface—or before they do if you anticipate becoming hungry yet circumstances won’t enable you to stop and eat (e.g., a work situation where eating isn’t possible).

If you feel disconnected from your hunger cues, which can happen if you have a history of ignoring or suppressing them, set a reminder to check in with your body at regular intervals to assess your hunger level and honor its needs.

2/ Eat Unconditionally
Give yourself full, unconditional permission to eat whatever you want whenever you want—assuming you have access to it and don’t have any limitations due to a health condition, such as a nut allergy or celiac disease.

For some, this approach to eating may sound reckless. It isn’t. It's about letting your internal cues guide your eating decisions instead of external rules and eating whatever tastes and feels the most satisfying to you.


Be Aware of Pseudo-Permission
Be aware, however, that it is possible to believe you are giving yourself unconditional permission to eat when you’re actually giving yourself pseudo-permission.

Pseudo-permission means you are granting yourself permission to eat something while simultaneously depriving yourself of it in the future.

This often shows up with thoughts such as “It’s okay if I eat pancakes for breakfast as long as I don’t eat any carbs for the rest of the day” or “I’ll let myself eat these chips, but I’m not going to buy them again for a long time” or “I can eat sweets on the weekend but not on weekdays.”

If you still find yourself consumed by food thoughts after practicing “unconditional eating” for a long time, it’s quite likely you are actually just giving yourself pseudo-permission to eat by putting conditions on your eating.

This is completely understandable, especially if you have a deeply engrained diet mentality, which can operate on a subconscious level and take time to let go of.


Space for More Fulfilling Things
When your body’s nourishment needs are fully satisfied and you no longer feel a sense of deprivation or scarcity, food will take a balanced place in your life.

You will think about food much less, ultimately freeing up space for more fulfilling, meaningful things.

If you have a long history of dieting and disordered eating, honoring your hunger and giving yourself unconditional permission to eat will likely feel very scary and challenging at first.

Your eating may feel off-kilter or out-of-sorts for a while; this is a normal part of the process. Once you and your body truly trust that your needs will be consistently met, these feelings will subside.

It’s essential to be patient and compassionate with yourself and to get support, whether from an Intuitive Eating-informed counselor, therapist, nutritionist, online community, podcast or all of the above.

I encourage you to also keep reminding yourself of what’s on the other side of this sometimes hard and messy healing work: a peaceful, balanced and liberating relationship with food.

*It’s important to note that these feelings can also be due to food insecurity if you don’t have reliable access to enough food because of financial constraints or other barriers. If this is the case, I encourage you to seek out local food banks and public assistance programs. Here’s a good place to start.

What are Your Attunement Disruptors?

People are often surprised that I don’t tell my clients what to eat, when to eat, or how much to eat. I don't because I don’t have a clue what their body needs and wants at any given time. They are the expert of their body, not me!

My role is to help my clients connect with their body’s innate wisdom and trust it to guide them to the most nourishing, satisfying and supportive choices for their unique being. Part of this process includes exploring their attunement disruptors.

Attunement Disruptors
Attunement disruptors are obstacles that interfere with your ability to clearly hear—and appropriately respond to—the messages your body is sending you, including its sensations of hunger, fullness and satisfaction.

Here are a few common attunement disruptors:

• Dieting: When you’re dieting—no matter what the plan or program is called—you prioritize a set of external rules over your internal cues.
  
  For example, ignoring your body’s hunger signals because you’ve reached your calorie, point or macro allotment for the day; disregarding your fullness cues and overeating because you aren’t allowing yourself to eat again for many hours; or avoiding a desired food because it’s off-limits.
  
  

• Food Rules: Even if you’re not on a diet, you may still have a diet mentality and be adhering to a set of food rules, such as no eating after 7 p.m., no snacking, no seconds or no carbs. Your food rules dictate your eating decisions instead of your body’s needs and desires.
  
  

• Distracted Dining: Eating while multitasking (e.g., TV watching, emailing, texting, gaming, driving, etc.) inhibits your ability to tune into your body’s fullness cues.
  
  Distracted eating can also leave you feeling unsatisfied when your food is gone. Even if you're full, you may find yourself understandably seeking more food in search of satisfaction as satisfaction is an essential component of the eating experience.
  
  

• Eating Habits: Ingrained habits, like distracted dining, breakfast skipping, inflexible meal times and a clean-your-plate mentality, can cause you to override your body’s cues.
  
  

• Chaotic Lifestyle: If your days are intense, chaotic or overscheduled, perhaps due to juggling constant work and/or caregiving demands, your busyness may prevent you from hearing and honoring your body’s needs.
  
  

• Performative Eating: You’re disconnected from your body when you change how you eat when eating with others, such as not eating what or how much you actually want.
  
  You might do this to meet social or cultural expectations, please other people, project a certain image, or avoid potential judgment or criticism, which is completely understandable if you’ve been food policed in the past.
  
  

• Inadequate Self-Care: Not prioritizing foundational self-care practices, such as restorative sleep, joyful movement, stress relief and screen-free time, makes it difficult to hear and respond to messages from your body.

Start Small, Be Flexible
Addressing your obstacles to body attunement can take time, especially if your inner wisdom is clouded by a dieting mentality, food rules, weight stigma, fatphobia and other deeply embedded beliefs and behaviors, such as always putting other people’s needs before your own.

I encourage you to take small steps and to focus on what would feel the most helpful and satisfying to you.

It’s also important to be flexible in your approach otherwise you may find yourself creating a set of rigid rules that make you feel bad and guilty when you break them, such as “I can only eat when I feel hungry” or “I’m not allowed to eat in front of a screen.”

Sometimes, your work schedule may require you to eat at a specific time or while catching up on email. Or, you may want to enjoy a pizza while watching a movie, which can be a really pleasurable experience!

Being mindful of your attunement disruptors most of the time will help you reconnect with your body and become more aware of and responsive to its messages, needs and desires. As a result, you will cultivate a more trusting, intuitive and peaceful relationship with food and your body.