It's Okay to Eat This. I've Had a Bad Day!

Does the following sound familiar?

“Screw it! I’m going to eat whatever I want. I’ve had a bad day!”

If you can relate to this, it’s completely understandable. It’s how diet culture has conditioned us to think.

Special Circumstances Only
Diet culture tells us we’re only allowed to eat certain foods under special circumstances.

It makes us believe it’s okay to eat cake at a birthday party but not on a regular ol’ Tuesday.

It drives us to think we can eat whatever we want on vacation as long as we get back on track once we’re home.

It tells us we can eat "bad" foods on the weekend, yet they are off-limits on weekdays.

It grants us permission to order dessert when celebrating a special occasion but not on an ordinary night out.

It gives us a free pass to eat forbidden foods on holidays but no other time of the year.

It causes us to believe we only deserve to eat what we want when we’re suffering, like after a bad day. 

And, it's all a bunch of B.S. The truth is:

You have the right to eat whatever you desire today—and every day of the year.

You don’t need a special reason, other than it’s what you want.

Diet Mentality vs. Non-Diet Mentality
If you feel the need to justify your food choices, you’re likely operating from a deeply ingrained diet mentality—one that includes a lot of rules and beliefs regarding what’s okay and not okay when it comes to eating.

Your experience is much different than if you’re operating from a non-diet mentality—that is, if you’re eating intuitively.

If you’re an Intuitive Eater, you truly know you have unconditional permission to eat whatever you want, whenever you want (of course, depending on what food is accessible to you).

You don’t feel the need to give yourself special permission to eat certain foods during certain times because you know you can eat them anytime they’re available.

If you want to move toward greater peace, ease and freedom with food, you can start by replacing any justifications, excuses or conditions for your eating with “It’s okay to eat this because it’s what I want.

My Eating is Out of Control at Night. I'm So Good All Day!

Does your eating ever feel out of control at night?

If yes, you’re not alone.

Many people have shared with me that they feel like they eat “good” all day, yet come nighttime, their eating often feels “out of control.”

There are many valid reasons why this might be. Here are a few:

1/ Undereating
Most often, feeling out of control with food at night is due to not eating enough throughout the day. 

When your nourishment needs aren’t met, perhaps because you’re dieting, restricting certain foods or too busy to eat, your very wise body will do everything it can to make up for this deprivation.

You may find yourself experiencing intense cravings, feeling preoccupied with food, eating faster than usual, overriding your fullness cues or eating in a way that feels binge-like.

None of this is due to a lack of willpower or self-discipline. It’s a normal compensatory reaction; your body’s natural response to physical and psychological deprivation.

2/ Dissatisfaction
Satisfaction is an essential component of the eating experience. If you don’t experience much satisfaction from your meals and snacks, you will naturally seek more food, even if you’re not hungry.

There are many reasons why your eating may be unsatisfying, such as denying yourself what you truly want, a lack of access to the foods you desire, not eating a variety of foods, not having time to enjoy your meals and being distracted while eating.

3/ Pleasure Deficiency
One of the gifts of food is the pleasure it can provide.

As humans, we’re wired to seek pleasure thus if you don’t experience much pleasure during your daytime hours, you may find yourself turning to food at night to fill this void.

This is completely understandable, especially considering how easily accessible and instantly rewarding food can be compared to many other forms of pleasure. 

4/ Revved-Up Nervous System
If your life is very busy or chaotic, you may often feel overextended and overwhelmed. The rhythmic act of eating can be very soothing, grounding and regulating. It’s a helpful way to calm your revved-up nervous system and center yourself when you feel anxious, stressed or scattered.

5/ Me Time Shortage
Whether it's with your job or your family—or both, if you spend most of your day taking care of other people’s needs, you’re likely short on me time. Enjoying some yummy food, once everyone else is tucked in or logged off, is a way to do something special just for yourself.

Very Valid Reasons
There are always very valid reasons why you do what you do with food and these are just a few of the many factors that might be at play.

By viewing your eating through the lenses of compassion and curiosity, instead of judgment and criticism, you will gain a better understanding of what needs you’re trying to take care of when your eating feels out of control at night.

It's important to also keep in mind that there is absolutely nothing wrong with eating at any time of day or night.

And, despite what our diet culture wants you to believe, it’s totally okay to eat when you’re not hungry, including eating for emotional reasons or for just pure pleasure.

My Front Tooth Broke Off. It Meant Restricting Food Again.

About a year ago, I broke my front tooth off—the entire thing!—when biting into the hard crust on a piece of toast. 

Naturally, I was quite alarmed when I felt a big gap in the front row of my teeth. Thankfully, it didn’t hurt, but it did really freak me out.

Turns out, a root canal I had decades earlier after a car accident had weakened my tooth. I had no idea it could potentially break off and didn’t have any indication that it was on the verge of doing so.

An emergency visit to my dentist resulted in a temporary tooth until I could have dental implant surgery. 

The fragility of the temporary tooth meant I had to limit what and how I ate to avoid breaking or pulling it off.

New Food Rules
For the first time since I gave up dieting, I had to restrict my eating.

After years spent overcoming all my food rules, I now had a new set of rules to follow.

Hard, tough, chewy, crunchy and sticky foods were pretty much off-limits. 

As I could no longer use my front teeth, biting into a sandwich, slice of pizza, bagel, apple and the like was a big no-no.

I had to cut my food into very small pieces which made eating a very slow and tedious process. 

Dental surgery, which happened about a month later, hurt like heck and cost a gazillion dollars, also came with another set of food rules. While recovering, I was instructed to only eat soft, cold, mild foods for a few weeks.

And, since I once again had a temporary tooth until the dental implant was ready for the final tooth, I also had to continue the initial eating restrictions for about another four months.

Restriction Resistance
If you’ve ever had dental surgery, you know all too well how painful it can be.

And, if you’ve reclaimed your ability to eat intuitively after a history of dieting and disordered eating, being told you need to restrict your eating again can bring up all sorts of complicated feelings and challenges.

For some, it can be a slippery slope back into past disordered eating behaviors; this was something I was conscientious of and careful about.

For many, like me, it can trigger a lot of resistance, frustration and anger.

Once you’ve had a taste of food freedom, it’s really hard to put limits on your eating again.

Even though I knew the restrictions were necessary and temporary, I was not a happy camper. 

It was the cold, rainy season when I had my dental surgery and I longed for a forbidden cup of hot tea and a bowl of warm soup. Cold food did not sound appealing at all.

Not being able to eat what I wanted made me feel deprived, unsatisfied and cranky.

Freedom and Ease
Throughout the entire ordeal, my eating was riddled with anxiety. 

While I once felt anxious about how every bite would impact my weight, I now felt anxious about how every bite might impact my tooth.

Just like when I was dieting, eating decisions felt complicated and stressful. There were times I didn’t even want to deal with food as it just felt too hard. 

Thankfully, I made it through that distressing period and was eventually able to resume my usual eating with one minor exception. To be on the safe side, my dentist advised me to avoid biting into anything hard with my front teeth going forward.

While there are times I long for the satisfaction of biting into a crisp apple rather than cutting it into small pieces, I’m totally on board with this minor limitation as I absolutely don’t want to repeat that painful, stressful and costly nightmare.

The entire experience reminded me of why I gave up dieting, and it gave me an even greater appreciation for the ability to eat with freedom and ease.