Do You Lick Your Peanut-Butter Knife?

I remember years ago watching a weight-loss episode on a popular talk show. One of the calorie-cutting tips given was to never lick your peanut-butter knife.

This made me feel sad. Very sad.

Who doesn’t love to lick their knife clean after making a PB&J sandwich, almond-butter toast, or bagel with cream cheese?

It’s fun! It’s yummy! It’s super satisfying!

Yet now, in order to be good and successful, I felt I had to give up this simple pleasure along with all the other things I had already made off-limits on my quest to shrink my body.

Harmful, Not Helpful
Every day, we’re bombarded with diet and wellness culture messages like "don't like the peanut-butter knife!" that are often more harmful than helpful.

These messages cause us to be hyper-vigilant about our eating. They result in pointless food rules, restriction and rigidity. They lead to unnecessary fear, anxiety, stress, shame and suffering.

If you bought into the “no knife-licking” rule, yet failed to follow it (which, if you’re like me, is highly likely!), your thoughts may sound something like this:

• Licking this knife is a big no-no—you know that!

• I am being bad, and naughty, and reckless.

• I have no willpower or self-control. No wonder I look the way I do.

• What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I follow one freaking simple rule?

• Ugh, I really hope no one saw me do that.

• I can’t be trusted with peanut butter; I’m going to stop buying it.

• I feel guilty and need to make up for this food sin. No dessert for me tonight!

• I really want to double-dip my knife back into the jar and lick it again.

• Screw it. I’ve come this far, I might as well keep going back for more!

• I shouldn't do this, but licking the knife clean is so much easier than getting peanut butter off my dishcloth!

Does any of this sound familiar, {!firstname_fix}?

Challenge Your Food Rules
I spend a lot of time helping my clients identify and investigate their food rules. 

We deconstruct and challenge them, exploring questions, such as: Where did this rule come from? Is it true? Is it reasonable, sustainable and satisfying? How do you feel and act when you break it? Does it prevent you from being a relaxed, flexible and confident eater? Is it helpful or harmful?

About 99.9 percent of the time, my clients determine their food rules are causing them far more harm than good.

They realize how their rules are creating an unhealthy relationship with food and negatively impacting their physical, mental, emotional and social health.

As my clients start to shed their food rules, a sense of freedom, empowerment, peace and ease surfaces.

Instead of listening to external sources, they begin trusting their intuition, body wisdom and direct experience to guide them.

And they start licking their peanut-butter knife again.

Why You Rebel Against Your Diet

Have you ever rebelled against your diet? It looks like this...

“Within a few weeks of starting a new diet, the same thing always happens,” says Gina. “I find myself rebelling against the rules. I basically just say f-it and go crazy with all the forbidden foods."

"Of course, I end up feeling like crap. Not only am I stuffed, I also feel angry and ashamed," she admits.

"So, naturally, I go into fix-it mode, which means hopping online in search of a new diet while promising myself that I’ll really stick with it this time.”

Gina believes her inability to stay on a diet is due to her lack of self-control. “If only I had more willpower and discipline, then I’m sure I would finally be successful at this dieting game.”

Healthy Rebellion
What Gina doesn’t realize is that rebelling against her diet is actually very healthy behavior.

When you let a plan, program or person dictate what you eat, how much you eat and when you eat, you give your power away. It’s an assault on your personal autonomy and boundaries.

When you rebel, you’re actually restoring your autonomy and protecting your boundaries. You’re reclaiming your power. This is good thing!

You’re in Charge
Whereas dieting is disempowering, Intuitive Eating is empowering.

With Intuitive Eating, there’s no need to ever rebel because you’re always in charge.

You—and only you—decide what and when to eat based on your body’s cues (e.g., hunger, fullness), satisfaction level, nutritional needs, personal preferences and values. Basically, you eat what feels right when it feels right.

The result: greater ease, freedom and peace in your relationship with food.

What if You Resolved to Do This in 2021?

Happy New Year!

Whether or not you like to make New Year’s resolutions, here’s one intention for the coming year you may want to consider.

Resolve to be kind to your body.

Really, truly kind.

Here’s what body kindness might look like:

• Rejuvenating your body with abundant rest and sleep.

• Moving your body in a joyful way and breaking free from your Exercise Police (no punishing, painful or compensatory workouts).

• Speaking to your body—and about your body—with respect, appreciation, compassion and tenderness.

• Stepping off the dieting roller coaster and away from the physical and physiological harm dieting can cause.

• Listening to and honoring your body’s needs and desires, including its hunger and fullness cues (versus following external eating rules).

• Eating foods that satisfy your body’s need for both nourishment and pleasure.

• Wearing clothes that you love and comfortably fit your here-and-now body.

• Immersing your body in nature, nourishing it with sunshine and fresh air.

• Relaxing your body with deep breathing, stretching, meditation, a massage, a bubble bath, calming music or other soothing activities.

• Thanking your body every day for everything it does for you (like breathing!).

How Would Your Life Change?
I encourage you to reflect on what body kindness means to you and how your life would change if you were kinder to your body.

And, I invite you to consider that your body is a celebration of your survival and it wants more than anything to be your partner throughout this life journey.