Today, I'm Getting Back On Track!

Today, I’m getting back on track!

How many Mondays have you said this to yourself?

How many times have you started your week with promises to eat better, eat less, eat clean, eat perfectly?

This used to be my weekly pattern.

I would lie in bed on Sunday night regretting how badly I felt I had eaten all weekend.

To quiet my inner food police and alleviate the guilt, shame and anxiety I felt, I’d promise myself that, starting tomorrow, things would be different.

Full of Hope
I’d wake up Monday feeling excited and hopeful about getting my act together.

Often, I’d be “good” and feel in control for the first few days of the week.

By Thursday night, however, things would start to fall apart. My discipline and willpower would begin to diminish.

I’d find myself obsessing about food, giving into my cravings, breaking my food rules, and reuniting with all the “bad” foods I declared off-limits on Monday.

I would try to fight it for a while, but eventually, I’d just throw my hands in the air exclaiming, “What the hell! I might as well just go for it because come Monday, I’m never letting myself do this again!”

Endless Cycle
Every weekend became a Last Supper.

It was an endless, exhausting cycle.

When I finally hit rock bottom and realized how damaging my diet mentality was, I began taking steps toward healing my relationship with food and my body.

This included breaking up with diet culture, ditching my diet mentality and food rules, and learning how to eat intuitively again.

Of course, this didn’t happen overnight.

Intuitive Eating is not a quick fix. It is, however, a pathway to freedom.

Since there are no rules and no illegal foods, there's no possibility of being bad, failing the plan and getting thrown in dieting jail.

Just Another Day
Now, Mondays are just another day for me.

The idea of “getting back on track” doesn’t enter my mind on the first day—or any day—of the week.

If you have a pattern of "starting over tomorrow" with your eating, please know that the desire to do so is completely understandable. It's natural to turn toward whatever might make you feel better.

However, instead of being stuck on this emotionally-draining roller coaster, I invite you to reflect on how it would feel to have a steady, peaceful relationship with food. How might your life change if every day of eating was just another day?

WTH, I'm on Vacation!

From baguette after baguette loaded with brie in France to bowls and bowls of guacamole and chips in Mexico, I can recall many trips taken years ago when my food decisions were driven by a “WTH, I’m on vacation!” mindset.

In my head, my reasoning sounded something like “I rarely let myself have these foods but since I’m on vacation, I’m going to give myself permission to indulge. And, you better believe I’m going to go for it because once I’m back home, these foods will be off-limits again.”

I’d inevitably return from vacation feeling uncomfortable in my body and anxious to make up for the “damage” I had done.

My so-called free pass to indulge wasn’t truly free as I believed I had to compensate for my actions. This is, after all, what diet culture teaches us.

Think about it: How many times have you or someone you’re vacationing with said “I’m really going to have to make up for all this eating when I get home!” or “My diet starts the day I return!”? 

Food Lost Its Power
Once I started giving myself unconditional permission to eat whatever I wanted whenever I wanted, with guidance from my hunger, fullness and satisfaction cues, I stopped approaching my vacation eating what a WTH mentality.

Since I ditched all my food rules, I no longer have anything to rebel against or feel guilty about.

As nothing is forbidden anymore, food has lost its high reward value and power over me. It’s no longer an obsession, indulgence or something I only permit myself to have in certain situations, like while on vacation.

No Need to Go for It
Of course, I still get excited to try the local specialties and take tremendous pleasure in doing so. It’s one of my favorite parts of traveling.

But because there’s no threat of future deprivation—that is, a post-vacation diet, detox, cleanse, fast, reset, reboot, return to clean eating, etc.—I don’t feel the need to “go for it,” which is a natural human response when restriction is looming around the corner.

This doesn’t mean I don’t sometimes eat past comfortable fullness. I absolutely do, especially when something is really delicious and truly unavailable back home.

The difference now is that when I feel overly full, I just move on rather than ruminate on what I once believed was a lack of self-control and a transgression I needed to punish myself for.

And because I’m no longer preoccupied with my eating, I’m able to be so much more present during my travels, which makes for a much more enjoyable experience for everyone involved.

With the world opening up again and many of us taking much-needed vacations this summer, I encourage you to remember that, despite what diet culture wants you to believe, you do not need special permission to eat what you want, you do not have to feel guilty about your choices, and you do not ever have to make up for your eating.

Why Your Eating Feels Out of Control at Night

Does your eating feel out of control at night?

If yes, you’re not alone.

Many people have shared with me that they feel like they eat “good” all day, yet come nighttime, their eating often feels “out of control.”

There are many very valid reasons why this might be. Here are a few:

1/ Undereating
Most often, feeling out of control with food at night is due to not eating enough throughout the day.

When your nourishment needs aren’t met, perhaps because you’re dieting, restricting certain foods or too busy to eat, your very wise body will do everything it can to make up for this deprivation.

You may find yourself experiencing intense cravings, feeling preoccupied with food, eating faster than usual, overriding your fullness cues and eating in a way that feels binge-like.

None of this is due to a lack of willpower or self-discipline. It’s a normal compensatory reaction; your body’s natural response to physical and psychological deprivation.

2/ Dissatisfaction
Satisfaction is an essential component of the eating experience. If you don’t experience much satisfaction from your meals and snacks, you will naturally seek more food, even if you’re not hungry.

There are many reasons why your eating may be unsatisfying, such as denying yourself what you truly want, a lack of access to the foods you desire, not eating a variety of foods, not having time to enjoy your meals and being distracted while eating.

3/ Pleasure Deficiency
One of the gifts of food is the pleasure it can provide.

As humans, we’re wired to seek pleasure thus if you don’t experience much pleasure during your daytime hours, you may find yourself turning to food at night to fill this void.

This is completely understandable, especially considering how easily accessible and instantly rewarding food can be compared to many other forms of pleasure.

4/ Revved-Up Nervous System
If your life is very busy or chaotic, you may often feel overextended and overwhelmed. The rhythmic act of eating can be very soothing and grounding. It’s a helpful way to calm your revved-up nervous system and center yourself when you feel anxious, stressed or scattered.

5/ Me Time Shortage
Whether it's with your job or your family—or both, if you spend most of your day taking care of other people’s needs, you’re likely short on me time. Enjoying some yummy food, once everyone else is tucked in or logged off, is a way to do something special just for yourself.

Very Valid Reasons
There are always very valid reasons why you do what you do with food and these are just a few of the many factors that might be at play.

By viewing your eating through the lenses of compassion and curiosity, instead of judgment and criticism, you will gain a better understanding of what needs you’re trying to take care of when your eating feels out of control at night.

It's important to also keep in mind that there is absolutely nothing wrong with eating at any time of day or night.

And, despite what our diet culture wants you to believe, it’s totally okay to eat when you’re not hungry, including eating for emotional reasons or for just pure pleasure.