Why You Rebel Against Your Diet

Have you ever rebelled against your diet? It looks like this...

“Within a few weeks of starting a new diet, the same thing always happens,” says Gina. “I find myself rebelling against the rules. I basically just say f-it and go crazy with all the forbidden foods."

"Of course, I end up feeling like crap. Not only am I stuffed, I also feel angry and ashamed," she admits.

"So, naturally, I go into fix-it mode, which means hopping online in search of a new diet while promising myself that I’ll really stick with it this time.”

Gina believes her inability to stay on a diet is due to her lack of self-control. “If only I had more willpower and discipline, then I’m sure I would finally be successful at this dieting game.”

Healthy Rebellion
What Gina doesn’t realize is that rebelling against her diet is actually very healthy behavior.

When you let a plan, program or person dictate what you eat, how much you eat and when you eat, you give your power away. It’s an assault on your personal autonomy and boundaries.

When you rebel, you’re actually restoring your autonomy and protecting your boundaries. You’re reclaiming your power. This is good thing!

You’re in Charge
Whereas dieting is disempowering, Intuitive Eating is empowering.

With Intuitive Eating, there’s no need to ever rebel because you’re always in charge.

You—and only you—decide what and when to eat based on your body’s cues (e.g., hunger, fullness), satisfaction level, nutritional needs, personal preferences and values. Basically, you eat what feels right when it feels right.

The result: greater ease, freedom and peace in your relationship with food.

How Has Dieting Diminished Your Life?

While traveling in Morocco a few years ago, I befriended some young folks while staying at their family’s riad (guesthouse).

After asking them about their favorite local foods, they eagerly offered to take me to a roadside café located on the outskirts of their small town to experience “Berber Pizza.”

Made with a double crust, the pizza is typically stuffed with meat and veggies heavily seasoned with ras el hanout, a mixture of numerous spices like cumin, coriander, cardamom, clove, ginger, paprika, turmeric and more.

I opted for the veggie version while my new friends went for the traditional lamb one.

Bursting with flavor, the pizza, along with my affable dining companions and endless cups of sweet mint tea, made for one of my most memorable experiences in Morocco.

Wouldn’t Have Happened
This moment, however, wouldn’t have happened if I had still been entrenched in diet culture.

I likely would have rejected my friends’ generous offer if I were counting calories, shunning gluten or afraid of carbs.

I would have struck out on my own to find something “safe” to eat, something that didn’t break any of my food rules and leave me feeling overindulgent and guilty.

Or, if I had accepted, I probably would have been distracted throughout lunch thinking about how I was going to make up for eating something “off plan,” perhaps by eating less for dinner or going for a run later.

I’m so grateful I worked hard to make peace with food so I could have such an enjoyable, unforgettable experience, and many more like it.

It’s so freeing to be able to share food with others without my inner Food Police trying to spoil the fun—without all the diet culture noise and the unnecessary anxiety, stress and guilt it causes.

Diminished My Life
Sadly, I spent many years skipping social gatherings, special celebrations and once-in-a-lifetime experiences because I feared there wouldn’t be any of my allowed foods or that I would lose control once I started eating.

On the rare occasion I would attend an event involving food, I was often preoccupied thinking about the food I wanted but wasn’t letting myself have, perhaps even devising a plan for how I could sneak some of it to eat in secret later.

Natural Response to Deprivation
Looking back, I have so much compassion for my younger self as I now understand that my thoughts and behaviors were a natural response to food restriction and deprivation. 

Once I stopped dieting and started trusting my body's needs and desires and giving myself unconditional permission to eat, I discovered I could have a relaxed, flexible, peaceful and pleasurable relationship with food—one that truly enriches my life rather than diminishing it.

A Few Things to Reflect On...
In what ways has dieting diminished your life?

How has it stopped you from living fully, especially in pre-pandemic times? Here's what some of my clients have shared.

How would your life expand if you made peace with food? What "Berber Pizza" moments would you get to experience?

What if You Resolved to Do This in 2021?

Happy New Year!

Whether or not you like to make New Year’s resolutions, here’s one intention for the coming year you may want to consider.

Resolve to be kind to your body.

Really, truly kind.

Here’s what body kindness might look like:

• Rejuvenating your body with abundant rest and sleep.

• Moving your body in a joyful way and breaking free from your Exercise Police (no punishing, painful or compensatory workouts).

• Speaking to your body—and about your body—with respect, appreciation, compassion and tenderness.

• Stepping off the dieting roller coaster and away from the physical and physiological harm dieting can cause.

• Listening to and honoring your body’s needs and desires, including its hunger and fullness cues (versus following external eating rules).

• Eating foods that satisfy your body’s need for both nourishment and pleasure.

• Wearing clothes that you love and comfortably fit your here-and-now body.

• Immersing your body in nature, nourishing it with sunshine and fresh air.

• Relaxing your body with deep breathing, stretching, meditation, a massage, a bubble bath, calming music or other soothing activities.

• Thanking your body every day for everything it does for you (like breathing!).

How Would Your Life Change?
I encourage you to reflect on what body kindness means to you and how your life would change if you were kinder to your body.

And, I invite you to consider that your body is a celebration of your survival and it wants more than anything to be your partner throughout this life journey.