WTH, I'm on Vacation!

From baguette after baguette loaded with brie in France to bowls and bowls of guacamole and chips in Mexico, I can recall many trips taken years ago when my food decisions were driven by a “WTH, I’m on vacation!” mindset.

In my head, my reasoning sounded something like “I rarely let myself have these foods but since I’m on vacation, I’m going to give myself permission to indulge. And, you better believe I’m going to go for it because once I’m back home, these foods will be off-limits again.”

I’d inevitably return from vacation feeling uncomfortable in my body and anxious to make up for the “damage” I had done.

My so-called free pass to indulge wasn’t truly free as I believed I had to compensate for my actions. This is, after all, what diet culture teaches us.

Think about it: How many times have you or someone you’re vacationing with said “I’m really going to have to make up for all this eating when I get home!” or “My diet starts the day I return!”? 

Food Lost Its Power
Once I started giving myself unconditional permission to eat whatever I wanted whenever I wanted, with guidance from my hunger, fullness and satisfaction cues, I stopped approaching my vacation eating what a WTH mentality.

Since I ditched all my food rules, I no longer have anything to rebel against or feel guilty about.

As nothing is forbidden anymore, food has lost its high reward value and power over me. It’s no longer an obsession, indulgence or something I only permit myself to have in certain situations, like while on vacation.

No Need to Go for It
Of course, I still get excited to try the local specialties and take tremendous pleasure in doing so. It’s one of my favorite parts of traveling.

But because there’s no threat of future deprivation—that is, a post-vacation diet, detox, cleanse, fast, reset, reboot, return to clean eating, etc.—I don’t feel the need to “go for it,” which is a natural human response when restriction is looming around the corner.

This doesn’t mean I don’t sometimes eat past comfortable fullness. I absolutely do, especially when something is really delicious and truly unavailable back home.

The difference now is that when I feel overly full, I just move on rather than ruminate on what I once believed was a lack of self-control and a transgression I needed to punish myself for.

And because I’m no longer preoccupied with my eating, I’m able to be so much more present during my travels, which makes for a much more enjoyable experience for everyone involved.

With the world opening up again and many of us taking much-needed vacations this summer, I encourage you to remember that, despite what diet culture wants you to believe, you do not need special permission to eat what you want, you do not have to feel guilty about your choices, and you do not ever have to make up for your eating.

How I Stopped My Negative Body Talk

Many years ago, while getting dressed to go on a hike, I caught my reflection in the mirror and was, once again, unhappy with what I saw. My negative body talk was off and running, completely consuming my thoughts as I drove to one of my favorite trails.

My plan to enjoy a lovely day of hiking along the coast became tainted by the relentless voice in my head telling me that my body was a problem that needed to be fixed.

Completely Fed Up
While I had struggled with negative thoughts about my body for decades, this time I hit the tipping point.

I could not go on this way.

I was completely fed up with hating my body.

I was done wasting so much of my life at war with my body and decided, once and for all, to do something about it.

And for the first time ever, doing something didn’t mean changing my body. It meant changing my relationship with it.

No More Body Bashing
One of the first steps I took was changing my internal body talk.

When I stepped out of the shower, instead of dodging my reflection in the bathroom mirror and running for cover under a towel to avoid a distressing body-bashing session, I opened the shower curtain and faced my reflection head-on.

I practiced gazing at my body without ruthlessly picking it apart, without zooming in on my perceived flaws, without judging and agonizing over what I had been conditioned to believe was wrong.

Instead of thinking “My stomach is disgusting” or “I hate my thighs,” I simply thought “This is my body.”

I didn’t try to make the leap from body loathing to body love, from body negativity to body positivity. Nor did I force myself to say positive affirmations. There’s nothing wrong with any of these things; they just felt very inaccessible and insincere for where I was at.

Instead, I focused on what felt attainable. I aimed for a neutral place to land.

“This is my body” felt about as neutral as I could get.

I still often didn’t like what I saw in the mirror, but unconditional body acceptance wasn’t my initial goal. Ending my negative body talk—and the downward shame spiral it triggered—was.

By swapping negativity with neutrality, I no longer got swept away by my critical thoughts. I was able to stop focusing and fixating on my body and just move on with my day.

One of Many Steps
Of course, changing my body talk didn’t come quickly or easily. And it was just one of many challenging and necessary steps I needed to take to make peace with my body and embrace our inherent body diversity.

Certainly, divesting from diet culture and uprooting my anti-fat bias were absolutely essential, major steps.

And while I refer to all these actions as steps, they are really ongoing practices that enable me to be as resilient and inclusive as possible in a world that’s constantly lying to us about what our bodies are supposed to look like to be considered acceptable, healthy, worthy and valuable.

Neutralizing my internal body talk was a starting place for me. Perhaps it can be for you, too.

Break Free From Your Exercise Police!

Do you need to break free from your Exercise Police?

Like your internal Food Police, the voices in your head that try to enforce food moralism and the harmful food rules our diet and wellness cultures have created, your inner Exercise Police are the voices in your head that try to enforce rules regarding what is and isn’t acceptable when it comes to movement.

Your Exercise Police may sound something like this…

• It’s not really exercise unless you get your heart rate up or break a sweat.

• You must work out for at least X minutes, otherwise it doesn’t count.

• You can’t stop until you go a certain distance or burn a specific number of calories.

• If you skip a workout, you need to eat less to make up for it.

• No matter how your body is feeling, you have to do the workout you planned.

• It’s not worth it if it doesn’t burn very many calories.

• If you don’t work out today, you’ll have to work out twice as hard tomorrow.

• You don’t have the right body for that type of exercise.

• If you ate “badly,” you have to work out to make up for it.

• If you want a “bad” food, you have to work out to earn it.

• If you don’t exercise, you’re bad, lazy, undisciplined and unhealthy.

• If it doesn’t result in weight loss, there’s no point in doing it.

Does any of this sound familiar? I bet you can think of some rules that aren't on this list. I could have gone on and on!

Squash Joy and Connection
When your Exercise Police are driving your decision-making, you may find yourself frequently ignoring the messages your body is sending you, like pain or fatigue, to adhere to your exercise rules.

You may also find yourself feeling less motivated to move, dreading your workouts, pushing your body beyond its limits, experiencing frequent injuries, exercising when you’re sick, or prioritizing exercise over friends and family.

With their very black-and-white, all-or-nothing approach to movement, your Exercise Police likely amplify your stress rather than alleviate it, leave you feeling depleted instead of invigorated, and make you feel guilty and ashamed when you break a rule.

Basically, your Exercise Police suck all the fun and joy out of movement and disconnect you from your innate body wisdom.

How to Break Free
The good news is that you can break free from your Exercise Police by recognizing their presence, challenging their commands, defying their rules, and giving yourself permission to experiment with other possibilities based on what feels right to you.

Instead of adhering to external rules, plans or authorities when it comes to movement (and eating!), listen to your internal cues. This means checking in with your body and honoring what it’s needing and desiring.

Perhaps it’s gentle stretching instead of a fast-paced yoga class, a relaxing walk versus a vigorous run, or a kitchen dance party rather than a boot-camp workout.

Or maybe it’s a rest day, a soak in the tub, or a nap!

Joyful, Intuitive Movement
To help you cultivate a relationship with movement that’s joyful, flexible, balanced and intuitive, ask yourself questions, such as:

• What is my body truly needing and desiring right now?

• What’s my motivation, what am I hoping this activity will do for me?

• If this activity had zero capacity to decrease my weight, would I still do it?

• How is this movement making me feel?

• Does this feel kind and respectful to my body?

• Does this feel pleasurable or punitive?

• Is this alleviating or amplifying my stress?

• Is this energizing or exhausting me?

• What would a more flexible, intuitive approach look like?

• Am I having fun right now? If not, what would be more fun?

There are a million ways to move your body. Why do something that doesn’t feel good or you don’t enjoy? 

It's important, however, to remember that it's a privilege to even have a choice whether or not to engage in movement. And for some, exercise may never feel good or joyful for a variety of different reasons from a chronic condition to just simply hating it.

If this is the case for you, yet you want to experience some of the benefits of movement, then I encourage you to pick whatever feels the most tolerable and pair it with something that makes it a bit more tolerable, like a favorite friend, show or podcast.

Beware of Exercise Moralism
Despite what our diet, wellness and fitness cultures want us to believe, exercise isn’t a moral obligation.

How you choose to move your body, including choosing to not exercise at all, isn’t a reflection of your moral character. 

Just like with food, your exercise choices do not make you a good or bad person or superior or inferior.

What matters most is that you honor what works the best for you and feels the best for your body