Do You Lick Your Peanut-Butter Knife?

I remember years ago watching a weight-loss episode on a popular talk show. One of the calorie-cutting tips given was to never lick your peanut-butter knife.

This made me feel sad. Very sad.

Who doesn’t love to lick their knife clean after making a PB&J sandwich, almond-butter toast, or bagel with cream cheese?

It’s fun! It’s yummy! It’s super satisfying!

Yet now, in order to be good and successful, I felt I had to give up this simple pleasure along with all the other things I had already made off-limits on my quest to shrink my body.

Harmful, Not Helpful
Every day, we’re bombarded with diet and wellness culture messages like "don't like the peanut-butter knife!" that are often more harmful than helpful.

These messages cause us to be hyper-vigilant about our eating. They result in pointless food rules, restriction and rigidity. They lead to unnecessary fear, anxiety, stress, shame and suffering.

If you bought into the “no knife-licking” rule, yet failed to follow it (which, if you’re like me, is highly likely!), your thoughts may sound something like this:

• Licking this knife is a big no-no—you know that!

• I am being bad, and naughty, and reckless.

• I have no willpower or self-control. No wonder I look the way I do.

• What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I follow one freaking simple rule?

• Ugh, I really hope no one saw me do that.

• I can’t be trusted with peanut butter; I’m going to stop buying it.

• I feel guilty and need to make up for this food sin. No dessert for me tonight!

• I really want to double-dip my knife back into the jar and lick it again.

• Screw it. I’ve come this far, I might as well keep going back for more!

• I shouldn't do this, but licking the knife clean is so much easier than getting peanut butter off my dishcloth!

Does any of this sound familiar, {!firstname_fix}?

Challenge Your Food Rules
I spend a lot of time helping my clients identify and investigate their food rules. 

We deconstruct and challenge them, exploring questions, such as: Where did this rule come from? Is it true? Is it reasonable, sustainable and satisfying? How do you feel and act when you break it? Does it prevent you from being a relaxed, flexible and confident eater? Is it helpful or harmful?

About 99.9 percent of the time, my clients determine their food rules are causing them far more harm than good.

They realize how their rules are creating an unhealthy relationship with food and negatively impacting their physical, mental, emotional and social health.

As my clients start to shed their food rules, a sense of freedom, empowerment, peace and ease surfaces.

Instead of listening to external sources, they begin trusting their intuition, body wisdom and direct experience to guide them.

And they start licking their peanut-butter knife again.

Why You Rebel Against Your Diet

Have you ever rebelled against your diet? It looks like this...

“Within a few weeks of starting a new diet, the same thing always happens,” says Gina. “I find myself rebelling against the rules. I basically just say f-it and go crazy with all the forbidden foods."

"Of course, I end up feeling like crap. Not only am I stuffed, I also feel angry and ashamed," she admits.

"So, naturally, I go into fix-it mode, which means hopping online in search of a new diet while promising myself that I’ll really stick with it this time.”

Gina believes her inability to stay on a diet is due to her lack of self-control. “If only I had more willpower and discipline, then I’m sure I would finally be successful at this dieting game.”

Healthy Rebellion
What Gina doesn’t realize is that rebelling against her diet is actually very healthy behavior.

When you let a plan, program or person dictate what you eat, how much you eat and when you eat, you give your power away. It’s an assault on your personal autonomy and boundaries.

When you rebel, you’re actually restoring your autonomy and protecting your boundaries. You’re reclaiming your power. This is good thing!

You’re in Charge
Whereas dieting is disempowering, Intuitive Eating is empowering.

With Intuitive Eating, there’s no need to ever rebel because you’re always in charge.

You—and only you—decide what and when to eat based on your body’s cues (e.g., hunger, fullness), satisfaction level, nutritional needs, personal preferences and values. Basically, you eat what feels right when it feels right.

The result: greater ease, freedom and peace in your relationship with food.

Emily's Story: It's All Downhill from Here

From time to time, I like to share a client experience to illustrate how Intuitive Eating can help you have a more trusting, peaceful and relaxed relationship with food and your body.

Recently, I was catching up with my former client Emily and she shared how different this holiday season already feels for her. With her permission, I’m sharing her story with you.

Emily’s Story: It’s All Downhill from Here
I remember very clearly my thoughts and fears around food that always surfaced at this time of year and talking to you about them when we were working together.

My October birthday had always triggered the “downhill” part of my year.

Starting with my birthday and continuing through New Year’s Eve, I would be diet-free.  

This meant giving myself special permission to eat without any restrictions for three and a half months before beginning a new diet on January 1.

Since I knew deprivation was just around the corner, I experienced a lot of Last Supper bingeing episodes during this time.

This year, I already feel such a major difference.

It no longer feels like this special time of year where I finally have an excuse to eat cake or candy. These things are always available to me now since I’ve stopped dieting and started giving myself unconditional permission to eat no matter what time of year it is.

It is such a freeing experience.

Unlike Any Birthday Before
On my birthday this year, there wasn’t any part of the day or the following weekend that I felt the need to “go for it” with my eating.

In years past, I would always eat until I was uncomfortably full on my birthday and often for a few days after as I polished off the leftover cake and other “special, rare treats.”

This birthday felt like my first big “test” of the season.

Having this new experience under my belt is so rewarding and it’s a testament to the power of Intuitive Eating, especially when paired with your expertise and gentle guidance. 

Peace with All the Pumpkin Things
Also this month, my roommate and I went to Trader Joe’s and bought a bunch of the fall snacks, all the pumpkin things.

It felt like a fall-treat buffet for the first few days. I was having so much fun trying all the new foods that I ended up eating more sweets than I usually do and felt a little sick.

I certainly wasn’t mad at myself for it. Instead, I viewed it as an informative experience.

I realized eating that amount of sweets didn’t feel very satisfying in my body so I may not want to do it again. And, I understood that since they were all new foods, it was normal for me to eat a lot of them right away.

As the days have gone by, unlike past years, I don’t feel out of control with all the fall treats or preoccupied with them. In fact, I forget we have a lot of the snacks we do!

This feels so completely different than when I was stuck in my restrict-binge cycle and it’s a huge relief to know I will not be starting another diet come New Year’s Day.

Every day, there is something new to learn and observe, but there hasn’t been a time in my life that I felt more at peace and at ease with food and my body.